Photo by David Vives on Unsplash I’m still stuck on being alone for the summer, with my depression on vacation.After being so determined to get my depression out in the open, why am I sad that it has taken a holiday? I should be doing back flips and alerting the media. Depression’s absence should be a celebration. I have been working on this for 5 years.And yet, I miss the … [Read more...] about Summers Here, So Where Is My Depression?
Change Triangle
How Using the Change Triangle Helps Me Cope with Depression
Is the Change Triangle my tool for moving forward with my depression?I first wrote "moving forward FROM my depression." What was I thinking? My depression and I are together until the end. Two peas in a pod, Ying and yang. And to think that I am moving away from depression is not a realistic outlook. Now there are times when I feel it is possible. And over the years, I have … [Read more...] about How Using the Change Triangle Helps Me Cope with Depression
Why Must My Depression Decide What I Really Want or Need?
Photo by Alvaro Reyes on Unsplash If I think I want or need something, shouldn’t that be enough?Yet here I am negotiating with myself over what I want. Even after a lifetime of making my own choices, I am stuck between my ideas and depression. Now it is possible that my depression has allowed me a few “wins.” You know, just enough to keep me in the game.My depression will let … [Read more...] about Why Must My Depression Decide What I Really Want or Need?
My Depression is Waiting for Me to Say, “I Give Up”
Photo by Hasnain Babar on UnsplashMy depression can only push me so far or it will lose its host.After all, if I die, then depression dies too. So it is in depression’s best interest to keep me alive and kicking. Even when it has me in the abyss, its focus is on keeping me up against that wall. If I cannot feel anything or envision any way forward, depression is happy.If … [Read more...] about My Depression is Waiting for Me to Say, “I Give Up”
Why Can’t I Get Joy into My Head?
It’s seems such an easy thing, for everyone has an idea of what their own joy looks like.So why is it I cannot feel the emotion? Instead, I play defense and do anything I can to avoid joy. Joy is a risk. And suddenly I cannot figure out a way to take a risk. I’ve got depression on the run, or at least sitting in the back row.Why chance depression’s return by taking a risk?Now I … [Read more...] about Why Can’t I Get Joy into My Head?
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