With the benefit of almost 40 years of perspective, I can see the damage that depression has wreaked on my life and those I love. My question today is, why did it take so long for me to see it? I am smart, I am a thinker. I offer great solutions to problems and take so many people’s ideas into account. So, why did I spend 40 years listening to … [Read more...] about Depression is Sneakier Than I Thought
concerns
Can I tell you what I am thinking?
You won’t believe what the depression has put in my head. “I will never fly in an airplane again.†“I will never go camping.†“I will never have a healthy relationship with myself or with others.†Depression makes it easy to think all or nothing. In the hospital, … [Read more...] about Can I tell you what I am thinking?
Is normalcy my new normal?
I don’t want to jinx it. As I build my life with the depression, I know the path is not straight. Yet for most of this past week, I have felt human. I have felt almost in control. I have felt a lot like me. That is exciting and frightening at the same time. I know that in the past I have had days, months, even years without any visible signs of depression. … [Read more...] about Is normalcy my new normal?
You Won’t Believe what I Wrote to Myself
“I am writing because you are enough.†This is the first line of the card I wrote to myself when I was in the hospital. I wrote this to myself over a month ago. The pastor who provided the cards mailed it four weeks later. I waited four days after getting the card before opening it. When I first took the envelope out of the mailbox, I did … [Read more...] about You Won’t Believe what I Wrote to Myself
It’s so depressing. Why am I still reading it?
I was loaned a copy of “I don’t want to talk about it.†It was written by Terrence Real. I have read more than half of the book now. And I am drawn like a moth to the flame.  I am getting burned, but I can’t stop reading. I feel like the book is telling me that there is a lot of pain I need to … [Read more...] about It’s so depressing. Why am I still reading it?
