With the benefit of almost 40 years of perspective, I can see the damage that depression has wreaked on my life and those I love.My question today is, why did it take so long for me to see it?I am smart, I am a thinker. I offer great solutions to problems and take so many people’s ideas into account.So, why did I spend 40 years listening to depression?What was it about its … [Read more...] about Depression is Sneakier Than I Thought
concerns
Can I tell you what I am thinking?
You won’t believe what the depression has put in my head.“I will never fly in an airplane again.” “I will never go camping.” “I will never have a healthy relationship with myself or with others.” Depression makes it easy to think all or nothing.In the hospital, never and always were my words of choice. This was what got me there in the first place. But five almost six weeks … [Read more...] about Can I tell you what I am thinking?
Is normalcy my new normal?
I don’t want to jinx it.As I build my life with the depression, I know the path is not straight. Yet for most of this past week, I have felt human. I have felt almost in control. I have felt a lot like me.That is exciting and frightening at the same time. I know that in the past I have had days, months, even years without any visible signs of depression. There have been day to … [Read more...] about Is normalcy my new normal?
You Won’t Believe what I Wrote to Myself
“I am writing because you are enough.”This is the first line of the card I wrote to myself when I was in the hospital.I wrote this to myself over a month ago. The pastor who provided the cards mailed it four weeks later.I waited four days after getting the card before opening it. When I first took the envelope out of the mailbox, I did not even remember writing the letter. Then … [Read more...] about You Won’t Believe what I Wrote to Myself
It’s so depressing. Why am I still reading it?
I was loaned a copy of “I don’t want to talk about it.” It was written by Terrence Real. I have read more than half of the book now. And I am drawn like a moth to the flame. I am getting burned, but I can’t stop reading.I feel like the book is telling me that there is a lot of pain I need to face to feel better. I'm reading that those who have never felt their own emotions, … [Read more...] about It’s so depressing. Why am I still reading it?
