My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

depression and anxiety

Why didn’t I run that race?

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It has been almost 50 years since that day. I rarely ever think about it now and it doesn’t haunt me every waking moment. But when my therapist started talking about self-esteem, this story popped into my head. When I think about not running the race, things get complicated. I remember the day clearly. I was in 9th grade and ran the ½ mile on the track team. We had a meet … [Read more...] about Why didn’t I run that race?

Am I ready to radically accept depression?

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Radical acceptance means looking at yourself and the situation and seeing it as it really is. My goal with acknowledging depression is to not let it boss me around anymore. I am working on learning coping skills and avoiding unhelpful thinking styles. In the past few weeks, I have had small challenges that depression has thrown my way. Depression is testing me to see if I am … [Read more...] about Am I ready to radically accept depression?

Am I Going Too Fast?

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Several people now have mentioned I should be slowing down. Is this what recovering from depression is about? Taking it easy? Making sure I have lots of self-care built into my day? Being aware of my automatic thoughts and slowing down my thinking so I do not make impulsive decisions? That seems like a lot to do. Slowing down is time consuming. Now I am not dismissing … [Read more...] about Am I Going Too Fast?

You won’t believe where I have been

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I took my time and read all 37 of my blog posts, back to day one when I came home from the hospital. What a journey already. I sound so bad, so sad, so out of it, on day one. And then I look at my recent writings and see how far I have come. This is encouraging. But it is not without setbacks. There have been days where I wondered if I would ever feel better. Days, … [Read more...] about You won’t believe where I have been