You won’t believe what the depression has put in my head. “I will never fly in an airplane again.†“I will never go camping.†“I will never have a healthy relationship with myself or with others.†Depression makes it easy to think all or nothing. In the hospital, … [Read more...] about Can I tell you what I am thinking?
grief
Is normalcy my new normal?
I don’t want to jinx it. As I build my life with the depression, I know the path is not straight. Yet for most of this past week, I have felt human. I have felt almost in control. I have felt a lot like me. That is exciting and frightening at the same time. I know that in the past I have had days, months, even years without any visible signs of depression. … [Read more...] about Is normalcy my new normal?
You Won’t Believe what I Wrote to Myself
“I am writing because you are enough.†This is the first line of the card I wrote to myself when I was in the hospital. I wrote this to myself over a month ago. The pastor who provided the cards mailed it four weeks later. I waited four days after getting the card before opening it. When I first took the envelope out of the mailbox, I did … [Read more...] about You Won’t Believe what I Wrote to Myself
It’s so depressing. Why am I still reading it?
I was loaned a copy of “I don’t want to talk about it.†It was written by Terrence Real. I have read more than half of the book now. And I am drawn like a moth to the flame.  I am getting burned, but I can’t stop reading. I feel like the book is telling me that there is a lot of pain I need to … [Read more...] about It’s so depressing. Why am I still reading it?
Why Do I Double-Check Before Swallowing? 6 Year Update
Originally published May 29, 2019 It hit me the other day—I don’t double-check my pills anymore. For so long, that little ritual was part of my mornings. Shake the bottle. Look at the label. Roll the pill around. Push it onto my tongue just to be sure. And now? I just take them. No second-guessing. No hesitation. It feels almost strange not to overthink it.. But at the … [Read more...] about Why Do I Double-Check Before Swallowing? 6 Year Update
