It has been almost 50 years since that day. I rarely ever think about it now and it doesn’t haunt me every waking moment. But when my therapist started talking about self-esteem, this story popped into my head. When I think about not running the race, things get complicated. I remember the day clearly. I was in 9th grade and ran the ½ mile on the track team. We had a meet … [Read more...] about Why didn’t I run that race?
lifestyle
What lens am I looking at myself through?
I’m gauging my own self-worth, my own self-esteem. I am trying to answer the question that has been burning inside me for over forty years. Am I enough? It turns out that the question isn’t even a straightforward question. It’s conditional, with a lot of but’s and what-ifs? It turns out you must decide what lens you are looking through before you even begin to consider the … [Read more...] about What lens am I looking at myself through?
I stopped playing music when I’m driving
Silence was my only friend while driving. It wasn’t always like that. I remember buying a power booster for a Dodge Ram Charger I owned. I mounted two speakers in frames on either side of the back seat. I had an 8-track and a stereo cassette player mounted under the dash. I loved to roll the windows down and sing as I drove. So how have I ended up driving … [Read more...] about I stopped playing music when I’m driving
Another sleepless night
Which leads to a dull, listless, ho-hum day. Not sleeping is still a problem. I have tried different remedies without success. Melatonin, going to bed at the same time, dimming the lights in the bedroom. You can see from my last sleep posts, nothing has changed. https://myconcealeddepression.com/category/sleep-issues/ I have not gone the drug route yet. At my follow up … [Read more...] about Another sleepless night
Hurry up and wait
That’s how I am beginning to feel. As I get a better understanding of depression and my responsibilities for keeping it under control, I am slowing down. This is new to me. Being very competitive, I am always measuring things. How many steps to the top entrance to the building, how many tiles on the wall in the men’s room. How much are sales up year over year? So, hearing … [Read more...] about Hurry up and wait
