My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

unhealthy thinking styles

Quote of the day

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No time to write today. I had my annual physical this morning. EKG was good, they drew blood and I peed in a cup. My blood pressure was good and I do not have a fever, but it has been ten years since my last colonoscopy, so my Doctor is going to schedule that. Now I am off to work. Doing a quick check of my email and Pinterest, I found this quote which really … [Read more...] about Quote of the day

Why Did I Think that? I Thought I Was Getting Better.

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Why do I suddenly feel the need to explain myself? I am almost five months out from my hospital stay for depression.  That is almost five months of living with depression, of saying the word depression out loud, and keeping depression out in the open where I can see it. As I wrote the sentence about being out of the hospital for almost five months, I suddenly felt I … [Read more...] about Why Did I Think that? I Thought I Was Getting Better.

I cannot get it back

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I am so angry this morning. I cannot believe some of the decisions I have made in the past 43 years. It is infuriating to think that I have thrown away different opportunities that would have made significant changes in my life. My plan as I write this is to be mad at depression for the decisions I made along the way. But I was the one who took the action or failed … [Read more...] about I cannot get it back