My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

Depression Is Not My Boss

I’ve Worn Out My Snooze Alarm

by

It seems it is possible to hit your snooze alarm too many times. And when you do, it stops working. I get that my alarm clock is a man-made device, and it has a life expectancy just like other man-made things. But this alarm clock and I have been through so much. I bought it because it had two alarms. When I had a more consistent work schedule, I had one set for work and … [Read more...] about I’ve Worn Out My Snooze Alarm

I Have the Tools, Why am I Not Using Them?

by

It seems very straight-forward. You encounter a problem. You decide what tool you need to repair the problem. Then you use the chosen tool and fix the problem. Problem solved. This works great for when the lawnmower is sputtering and won’t start or your zipper in your coat is stuck and needs fixing. Applying this to my mental health issues is a … [Read more...] about I Have the Tools, Why am I Not Using Them?

What Will the Coming Year Look Like?

by

Last April, as I left the hospital diagnosed with major depressive disorder, that was all I could think about. Now, a year later, I have the added worry of COVID-19. This begs the question, what will the coming year look like? Tackling my depression, I found proven techniques, tips, support groups, therapist and a Psychiatrist to help in my recovery. Combined, they all have … [Read more...] about What Will the Coming Year Look Like?

Deer in Headlights

by

I’m freezing, standing still, no decisive plan to move. And this lack of movement is making me feel angry, frustrated (is that a feeling?) and a touch sad. I know I should be completing projects. The evidence of that is strewn across my desk, is tossed carelessly on the floorboards of my truck, and piled in a heap in my closet, instead of being in the … [Read more...] about Deer in Headlights