Photo by Braden Collum on Unsplash So, the stars aren’t perfectly aligned for me to be a contender today. The few times they have been, depression was involved, and the outcome wasn’t pretty. My depression has this way of making things seem alright, and then it springs its trap. One second I am thinking “Life is good,” and the next I am circling the drain. Now when … [Read more...] about Would I Be a Contender If I Get Out of My Own Way?
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash I want to say that I have figured it out and have all of the answers. If I could say, “I understand what and why,” that would be amazing. And by saying that, I would be saying that my depression will never appear again. In the past, my trips to the abyss have been lengthy and very brutal. So I want to never, ever again, circle the … [Read more...] about What I Have Learned About My Depression
Quote by RuPaul Unlike RuPaul, much of the time, I don’t have a high opinion of myself. There is so much I haven’t done. My life with concealed depression has forced me to have a public face and persona. I have spent years developing a brand that shows strength, stability, and reliability. Being the go-to guy is important to me. I can solve problems and de-escalate … [Read more...] about If you can’t love yourself, how the heck are you going to love someone else?
Photo by Mert Talay on Unsplash Yet it turns out that depression and I have a bond that will entwine us for the rest of my life. And even though right now, my depression is on vacation, I know it is still with me. While I am not feeling like I am “up against the wall,” I know my depression is still there. It is getting very good at tossing unhelpful thinking my way. … [Read more...] about I Wasn’t Planning for My Depression to Be a Lifelong Companion
Or do I need to “fake it until I make it?” I know all about attitude and how it is the only thing I have control over. But taking that information and turning it into reality is not the same thing. So how do I turn my desire for the feeling of joy, of happiness, into a reality? Over the centuries, many famous, well-known people, have used this technique to keep a positive … [Read more...] about If Only I Felt Happy, Maybe I Could Be Happy