Depression told me it was an innocent slip, but I’m sure it was Freudian. I was sitting in the small office of my gym, re-registering. We were talking about getting back and without being asked, I volunteered that I had stopped because of Covid. This was true in a way, but it was not the real reason I stopped going. I stopped going to the gym because I had been in 5 East … [Read more...] about Now Back at The Gym, I Used Covid Instead of Depression for Why I Left
Covid19
It Just Feels Like More of The Same
I know getting back from traveling has its up and downsides. Up, I get to sleep in my own bed. The down, there is a suitcase full of laundry that needs to be washed. And the lawn grew about three feet taller in the 8 days we were gone. I will need several hours to get this mowed. But I wouldn’t trade my time with my grandson for anything. He is going to be two years … [Read more...] about It Just Feels Like More of The Same
Why “I Have Depression, Depression Does Not Have Me “
The story of my life facing depression head-on; after only 62 years of ignoring it, never calling it by name, hiding it from everyone including myself, and sweeping the crumbs of each episode under the rug each time it was over, as I walked away never looking back. I am putting my thoughts together in what may become a book. But before I start: This will not be a book … [Read more...] about Why “I Have Depression, Depression Does Not Have Me “
With Depression, I Feel Survivors Guilt for People I Do Not Know
I have felt guilty for being alive before. When someone I had been to group sessions with took his life, I felt very guilty to still be alive. The shock of his decision was more than I could handle at that moment. So, I jumped to feeling guilty that it was not me. And then there is the shame of not doing something, anything. Not that I could have. While we were in a … [Read more...] about With Depression, I Feel Survivors Guilt for People I Do Not Know
Depression Won’t Let Me Make the Call
I haven’t spoken to my peer support contact in over 2 weeks. In fact, I have been ignoring her calls, letting them go to voice mail. It’s not that I do not want to talk to her. She has been one of my most ardent supporters for the past three years. Her observations have helped me understand my medication choices. And she has given me the confidence to speak up for … [Read more...] about Depression Won’t Let Me Make the Call
