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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

End Child Anxiety

Covid19

Now Back at The Gym, I Used Covid Instead of Depression for Why I Left

July 11, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Now back at the gym, I used covid and not depression as my reason for stopping

Depression told me it was an innocent slip, but I’m sure it was Freudian. I was sitting in the small office of my gym, re-registering. We were talking about getting back and without being asked, I volunteered that I had stopped because of Covid. This was true in a way, but it was not the real reason I stopped going. I stopped going to the gym because I had been in 5 East … [Read more...] about Now Back at The Gym, I Used Covid Instead of Depression for Why I Left

It Just Feels Like More of The Same

June 13, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Everything is the same now that I am back from visiting my grandson so I need to adjust my attitude

I know getting back from traveling has its up and downsides. Up, I get to sleep in my own bed. The down, there is a suitcase full of laundry that needs to be washed. And the lawn grew about three feet taller in the 8 days we were gone. I will need several hours to get this mowed. But I wouldn’t trade my time with my grandson for anything. He is going to be two years … [Read more...] about It Just Feels Like More of The Same

Why “I Have Depression, Depression Does Not Have Me “

May 24, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss 1 Comment

Why I have depression, depression does not have me is going to be my book about my life with depression and the positive lessons learned.

The story of my life facing depression head-on; after only 62 years of ignoring it, never calling it by name, hiding it from everyone including myself, and sweeping the crumbs of each episode under the rug each time it was over, as I walked away never looking back. I am putting my thoughts together in what may become a book. But before I start: This will not be a book … [Read more...] about Why “I Have Depression, Depression Does Not Have Me “

With Depression, I Feel Survivors Guilt for People I Do Not Know

April 22, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

My depression can give me survivors guilt when I read about someone taking their life. I have been there and know what the feels like.

I have felt guilty for being alive before. When someone I had been to group sessions with took his life, I felt very guilty to still be alive. The shock of his decision was more than I could handle at that moment. So, I jumped to feeling guilty that it was not me. And then there is the shame of not doing something, anything. Not that I could have. While we were in a … [Read more...] about With Depression, I Feel Survivors Guilt for People I Do Not Know

Depression Won’t Let Me Make the Call

April 11, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I'm afraid to call my peer support and depression is making me feel guilty and ashamed for not being strong enough to make the call.

I haven’t spoken to my peer support contact in over 2 weeks. In fact, I have been ignoring her calls, letting them go to voice mail. It’s not that I do not want to talk to her. She has been one of my most ardent supporters for the past three years. Her observations have helped me understand my medication choices. And she has given me the confidence to speak up for … [Read more...] about Depression Won’t Let Me Make the Call

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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  • I Took a Self-Care Day and I Don’t Feel Guilty
  • I’m Gaining Weight – Can I Blame My Depression?
  • My Depression Has Me Catastrophizing Instead of Fixing My Sleep Problem
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