The story of my life facing depression head-on; after only 62 years of ignoring it, never calling it by name, hiding it from everyone including myself, and sweeping the crumbs of each episode under the rug each time it was over, as I walked away never looking back. I am putting my thoughts together in what may become a book. But before I start: This will not be a book … [Read more...] about Why “I Have Depression, Depression Does Not Have Me “
Covid19
With Depression, I Feel Survivors Guilt for People I Do Not Know
I have felt guilty for being alive before. When someone I had been to group sessions with took his life, I felt very guilty to still be alive. The shock of his decision was more than I could handle at that moment. So, I jumped to feeling guilty that it was not me. And then there is the shame of not doing something, anything. Not that I could have. While we were in a … [Read more...] about With Depression, I Feel Survivors Guilt for People I Do Not Know
Depression Won’t Let Me Make the Call
I haven’t spoken to my peer support contact in over 2 weeks. In fact, I have been ignoring her calls, letting them go to voice mail. It’s not that I do not want to talk to her. She has been one of my most ardent supporters for the past three years. Her observations have helped me understand my medication choices. And she has given me the confidence to speak up for … [Read more...] about Depression Won’t Let Me Make the Call
It’s Not Covid, So Why Do I Feel So Bad?
My daughter helped me perform a self-test for the Covid-19 antigens yesterday afternoon. The manufacturer is so on top of things, they have pictured step by step directions in Spanish and English. Or you can scan a QR code, download their app, and it walks you through the test. Their app even sets a 15-minute timer so you can view the results at the proper time, Each … [Read more...] about It’s Not Covid, So Why Do I Feel So Bad?
I Made It Through Another Day and It Was Good
It was supposed to be a family dinner for my son and daughter-in-law. It turned out Covid reared its ugly head, and they could not drive down from up north. Now, this did not mean that the family dinner was canceled. It only meant that the Christmas presents for those two would not get opened last night. Dinner was a success. Everyone arrived on time and brought the … [Read more...] about I Made It Through Another Day and It Was Good