My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

Facts and myths about mental illness

My Depression Operates in The Smallest Spaces

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Before I began learning about how depression works, all I knew were my spectacular crashes. As I thought back on my life, I could clearly see four major episodes that my depression exacerbated. These were times when I was circling the drain, was up against the wall, and could not see any way forward. To an outsider, I can only imagine how that must have looked. But for … [Read more...] about My Depression Operates in The Smallest Spaces

The 10 Things I Just Cannot Do, Part II*

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*Update December 7, 2021 As I reread my list, I can see where I have made progress and where I still need to work. The reality is I will always need to work on at least one of the 10 unhelpful thinking styles. Living with depression means first acknowledging that I have it. And then quickly I say, “I have depression, depression does not have … [Read more...] about The 10 Things I Just Cannot Do, Part II*

Once Again It’s Bye to Prozac & Hello to More Wellbutrin

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I can’t believe I did not remember how Prozac made me sluggish and dull in the mornings. Two months ago, I was almost 90% successful at leading a balanced life with depression. This was a huge achievement for me. The past 2 ½ years had not all been like that. In fact, much of it was at 50%, 40%, or even 7% in terms of balance in my … [Read more...] about Once Again It’s Bye to Prozac & Hello to More Wellbutrin

I’m Happy Depression Wasn’t At My Birthday Party

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In recent years, depression has been a big part of my birthday. To call it a birthday celebration would be wrong. From my perspective, there was no celebration involved. It was just a day to get through. And I did it by pulling together my high-functioning depression skills. I have honed this skill over many decades and can turn it on now, at will. But using my … [Read more...] about I’m Happy Depression Wasn’t At My Birthday Party

Thanksgiving 2021 – I’m Darn Glad to Be Here

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Remembering April 2 ½ years ago, I couldn’t begin to imagine I would see 2021. Yet, I am here, REALLY HERE. I have plans for the future. Happily, my days are now filled with times of being in the moment. Each day I practice self-care in all of the forms that make me happy and recharge my batteries. 2 ½ years ago, I would not … [Read more...] about Thanksgiving 2021 – I’m Darn Glad to Be Here