My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

Guilt and Shame

Is It Possible To Measure Depression and My Actions?

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I am spending time researching how I measure up. Are my depressive episodes my fault, depression’s fault, or nobody’s fault? Have I had a choice in each of the big meltdowns I have endured over the past 40+ years? Should I be blaming depression? Are these episodes the byproduct of not having tools and not wanting to know what was going … [Read more...] about Is It Possible To Measure Depression and My Actions?

What Am I Worried About, It’s Just the World?

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I am all over the place today, but If you read to the end, I finally get out what I’m thinking.Authors Note Our heatwave on the east coast is mild compared to the temperatures recorded on the west coast. And we have been spared raging wildfires like the ones consuming thousand and thousands of acres in the northwest. A few days of afternoon thunderstorms, … [Read more...] about What Am I Worried About, It’s Just the World?

Real-Life Thoughts About My Life With Depression

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I am a middle-class male who has worked since he was 10 years old. My career includes 43+ years in retail management and along with my wife, have raised 3 wonderful children. I have lived with Major Depressive Disorder for over 40 years. Depression often shows me paths to follow that end in my circling the drain and crashing into the abyss. My reason for writing is to let … [Read more...] about Real-Life Thoughts About My Life With Depression

My Remarkable Journey to Just Be Me

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My life has been me and then me as a title. Son, husband, father, writer, manager, greeting card company developer, resume writer, career coach, business owner, fisherman. And this is just the shortlist. After being in the hospital for major depressive disorder, I noticed this idea. It is the idea that I am not good enough just as myself. I am a good manager, father, … [Read more...] about My Remarkable Journey to Just Be Me

Over the next year, what 3 improvements would you like to make in your life?

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We are already 11 days into 2021. And that nagging feeling of possible problems is still trailing behind me like Pig Pen's dust cloud in the Peanuts comic strip. Everywhere I go, I am anxious, and I cannot put my finger on it. Worse, I am lying about it to those that care about me. I AM FINE. Life is good. Things are going well. These are the stock answers I have when … [Read more...] about Over the next year, what 3 improvements would you like to make in your life?