My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

Self Care

What Will the Coming Year Look Like?

by

Last April, as I left the hospital diagnosed with major depressive disorder, that was all I could think about. Now, a year later, I have the added worry of COVID-19. This begs the question, what will the coming year look like? Tackling my depression, I found proven techniques, tips, support groups, therapist and a Psychiatrist to help in my recovery. Combined, they all have … [Read more...] about What Will the Coming Year Look Like?

Deer in Headlights

by

I’m freezing, standing still, no decisive plan to move. And this lack of movement is making me feel angry, frustrated (is that a feeling?) and a touch sad. I know I should be completing projects. The evidence of that is strewn across my desk, is tossed carelessly on the floorboards of my truck, and piled in a heap in my closet, instead of being in the … [Read more...] about Deer in Headlights

People Thought I Was Dead

by

That is a very sobering thought. Six weeks after getting out of the hospital, I finally contacted my mentor. He had been checking the obituaries. And while I had stayed in touch with another person for over two years, I fell off the grid last summer and stopped responding to her emails. I had the nerve, finally, to reach out today. Here’s what she wrote: I am … [Read more...] about People Thought I Was Dead

I’m Early for my Therapy Appointment

by

I am always early. If I am on time, I feel like I am late. Waiting in the parking lot for my therapist to arrive, I have scrolled through more Facebook than I usually do in a week. I had to decide whether to drive home from work just long enough to turn around and go back out the door or be very early. Had I been able to leave a little earlier from work, I would have … [Read more...] about I’m Early for my Therapy Appointment