My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

Self Care

11 Things Depression has done, and it’s only Wednesday

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Depression can be sneaky. It has infested itself in my being and has taken up residence in my body as if it belongs there. I am angry this morning. And as I think about why I am angry; I am recognizing things that are happening that I must learn to think differently about. Living with depression is a full-time, 24/7 job. Keeping it from being in charge is what I am … [Read more...] about 11 Things Depression has done, and it’s only Wednesday

Are these really early warning signs?

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The last few weeks are catching up with me. Between working 7 days in a row, then flying to Chicago, coming back and working another 7 in a row, I am slowing down just a little bit. For example, my legs felt it when we walked the dog yesterday evening. Our property has many hills and they usually do not bother me. Last night, it felt like someone was pulling on my legs, … [Read more...] about Are these really early warning signs?

I stand up for what’s important to me

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Depression makes me want to sit down, lie down, curl up in a ball. It doesn’t like it when I stand up, let alone stand up for what’s important to me. Depression would prefer I ignore anything that doesn’t directly involve paying attention to its unhelpful thinking. It is most comfortable when it has me time traveling. I can easily be in the future or the past. There is … [Read more...] about I stand up for what’s important to me

It works for me so who cares what “they say”

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Stigma is a funny thing. It is often subtle; you can’t quite put your finger on what you are feeling. Yet there it is. Sometimes, all you must do is say the word and feelings, emotions begin to form inside you. A switch is thrown, and your senses are activated and on alert. Affirmation. See? I know you are reacting in some way to that word. … [Read more...] about It works for me so who cares what “they say”