Covid and the pandemic suck. Living 12 hours away, the first ten months of my grandson’s life, we only saw him on zoom. Finally, the stars aligned, the vaccines were all administered, and we traveled to see him. Now he is coming here. It is only a long weekend, but I am so ready to spend time with him again. He has gone from infant to toddler in 4 months. Even on zoom, … [Read more...] about I Cannot Wait to See my Grandson
Some days I feel like myself
Today I Am Putting My Depression in Perspective
I just want a day off from pushing the rock up the hill. Is that too much to ask? Day after day after day I wake up and stare at the same freaky rock. Some days, I admit, that rock looks like a huge boulder and the hill look like a vertical wall of solid granite. These are my “half-dome” days, when the hill looks to me like Half Dome at Yosemite National Park in … [Read more...] about Today I Am Putting My Depression in Perspective
Sensational Ways Depression Sometimes Wins
Some days, there is no fairy tale ending. I wish it weren’t so. But depression and I are locked in a tug of war. Sometimes I can pull harder. And often depression pulls the hardest. Depression and I have been engaged in this tug of war for over 40 years. You would think I would understand the way it works by now. And the more tools I collect to deal with depression, the … [Read more...] about Sensational Ways Depression Sometimes Wins
An Authentic Self-Care Morning, As Even the Wildlife, Seem Thankful
It is 52 degrees outside as the sun works to warm the morning. The landscape is shrouded in fog, with only hints of Parker mountain in the distance. From my vantage point on the front porch, I can hear the beating of bird wings as they come and go from the feeders. And there are a pair of squirrels working the grass around the feeder pole, munching on the sunflower seeds … [Read more...] about An Authentic Self-Care Morning, As Even the Wildlife, Seem Thankful
The Real Truth About Depression and My Survivors Guilt
Some days I need to remind myself that I have depression. But most days, I know that depression and I have a lifelong connection. As I move further away from my time in the hospital, I am beginning to feel guilty for being alive. The better things are going in my life, the more I feel guilty. After all there are many people in much worse shape than I ever was, even as I … [Read more...] about The Real Truth About Depression and My Survivors Guilt
