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Green apples with smiley faces symbolizing concealed depression.

My Concealed Depression

You are here: Home / Featured Home / I do the same thing every morning

I do the same thing every morning

September 7, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss

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There seems to be a routine in place.

I didn’t realize I was so predictable. It doesn’t matter when I go to bed, I am up between 7 and 730 am. I put a t-shirt on and my slip-on sandals and head to the bathroom. After using the facilities, I take my Prozac.

In order to make sure that I do not miss a dose, or take a second one because I can’t remember, I have gotten a pill caddy. You know, the ones they sell in drug stores that have the days of the week on them. One of my Peer Advocates suggested that after I had a morning where I couldn’t remember if I had taken my medicine.

After that, I am off to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee.

We have a 12-cup machine with an insulated carafe instead of a glass pot sitting on a hot plate. This keeps the coffee hot for over two hours without that burned taste coffee gets when it sits too long in those glass carafes. While I am waiting for the coffee to be ready, I refill and then hang the bird feeders out front.

I bring the feeders in at night so our local black bears will not raid them.

By Thanksgiving, they will be hibernating, and I will leave the feeders out for the winter. I have quite a collection of feeders, but the black bears have destroyed several and it got to be a real project to bring in and then put out 6 feeders. So, for now, I only have a suet feeder, a bluebird feeder and a large feeder for all the other birds.

By the time I get the feeders filled and in place out front, the coffee is ready.

Now is when I sit on the front porch, enjoying the morning quiet unless one of the cats is meowing to be let out or let in. The hummingbird feeder is at the edge of the porch. I didn’t mention that when I talked about bringing in the feeders. Right now, a hummingbird is sitting in the tree in the front yard, guarding the feeder. Whenever a competing hummingbird attempts to drink from it, the guard will swoop down noisily and force him or her away from the feeder.

Now I settle in for 30 to 60 minutes, enjoying the wildlife that share our property.

There are two rabbits near the wood line, grazing on grass and generally enjoying the morning sun. Several squirrels have come out of the woods and are under the bird feeder. I added a metal sleeve over the post holding the feeders, so the squirrels cannot get up the pole and eat from the feeders. But it’s fun to watch them try.

Yesterday, two teenage bucks came out of the neighbor’s field, crossed our gravel driveway and meandered along the tree line, before heading into our woods down by the lawnmower shed. Their antlers are still covered in velvet.

Yesterday I was going to take the weekend off.

And I am off from any “work.” I am not going to my day job, and I am not trying to do my home-based business projects this weekend. But since everyone is still asleep this morning, I feel ok in doing a little writing.

We will see what tomorrow holds. After all, I do have a routine.

Filed Under: Featured Home, Self Care Tagged With: concealed depression, daily routine, depression, depression and anxiety, prozac, routine, unhealthy thinking styles, unhelpful thinking styles, wildlife

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Joel Natl Career Fair Bio Pic he's using for my concealed depressionHello, I am Joel Quas 

In April 2019, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. By writing things out, I am learning more about my relationship with depression. 

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