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Green apples with smiley faces symbolizing concealed depression.

My Concealed Depression

You are here: Home / Self Care / No Cell Phone, Just the Thunderstorms Rolling In

No Cell Phone, Just the Thunderstorms Rolling In

July 6, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss

Colorful 'Self Care Time Out' sign on a vibrant wooden background.
A pair of silver adjustable crutches with hand grips and rubber tips.

Look at me, I’m unplugged and taking some self-care time.

And it is pretty darn relaxing. Just sitting on the front porch, rocking in the rocking chair. The sun, when it peaks through the thunderheads, hasn’t reached the rocker yet.

In another hour, it will be too hot to sit on the front porch. Then, I will move to the back deck and find a suitable chair.

I may even sit in the lounge chair and put my feet up.

Imagine that. I am unplugged and have nowhere to go. The breeze kicks up every time a thunderhead gets close, so it hasn’t been too hot. Even though it hit 95 degrees earlier this afternoon. I am comfortable and enjoying nature’s show.

READ: Do you ever just want to stop?

Nature’s rolling thunder tops anything I heard last night from the different fireworks shows.

The booms and cracks make the best man-made fireworks look and sound dainty. It is understandably clear that Mother Nature has a lock on the spectacular. There is that anticipation of the pending rainstorm, then the actual storm itself. Often, this is followed by a crisp rainbow, and sometimes it’s a double. Having mowed the hill down to the lake earlier, I have nothing planned for the rest of the day, except to watch this play out.

I am going to spread my self-care out as far as I can today.

Once again, our 5 acres just below the mountains that are home to the Appalachian Trail and the Blue Ridge Parkway are providing an exceptional view. And while the trees on our property block some of the views of the mountains when they are full of leaves, Parker mountain is always visible from the back deck. It does disappear at times when low clouds roll in or it is snowing hard.

Having talked for years about what our eventual retirement house would look like, I am incredibly happy we found this home.

Even as I sit here, revealing in my self-care, there is a hummingbird drinking from a feeder 3 feet to my right. The latest thunderhead is working its way past us to the west, seemingly crammed between us and the top of the mountain. These storms have been creeping past us most of the afternoon. But I went ahead and watered the plants on the back deck just in case none of these give us a soaking.

Now, to my left, a squirrel is sneaking up on the dog’s outdoor water dish.

Getting a long drink, it turns and heads back to the stairs and down to the yard. Squirrels enjoy the seeds that the birds push out of the feeder. They fall from the deck to the grass below. Our dog loves to bark at the squirrels, letting them know whose yard it is.

The sky is much darker than it was when I first came out to the porch.

And each passing cloud seems to be edging closer and closer to us. Without the sun beating down, it feels much cooler now, even when there is hardly any breeze. Looks like we may get a shower after all.

I may stay here until dusk. Thank you self-care.

My concealed depression is written under the alias “Depression is not my boss.†I have certifications in SMART Recovery and am a Global Career Development Facilitator.

Diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder last year, I am sharing what I learn. If you know someone who might benefit from reading this, please share. 

I very much appreciate your comments.

Filed Under: Self Care, Some days I feel like myself, Unhelpful thinking Tagged With: depression, depression and anxiety, depression is not my boss, depression treatment, depressionisreal, self care, Selfcare, thunder

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  1. An Authentic Self-Care Morning, As Even the Wildlife, Seem Thankful - says:
    November 26, 2020 at 9:45 AM

    […] READ MORE: No Cell Phone, Just The Thunderstorms Rolling In […]

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In April 2019, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. By writing things out, I am learning more about my relationship with depression. 

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