My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

anxiety

First time on a plane

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Ok, so it’s the first time I will have flown since being in the hospital for depression. I am an avid adventurer and have been flying for over 50 years. I remember when people smoked on a plane. I remember pre 9/11 security and when we called flight attendants “stewardesses.†Giving up control to the pilot and crew has … [Read more...] about First time on a plane

Why didn’t I know it’s a compass for living?

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It’s easy to blame others. It’s easy for me to be defensive when someone I love questions my answer. My mind is often three to five steps ahead before the person even gets the entire sentence out of their mouth. I am time traveling and living in the future. It is a competition to get to the correct answer first. I have already … [Read more...] about Why didn’t I know it’s a compass for living?

What do you know, it really is not about me?

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I get so caught up in myself. An unhelpful thought pops into my head and the next thing I know, I am off living in the future. I had been concerned about having my work email on my phone. Finding excuses and reasons why I could not get it set up gave me control over my relationship with work. This past weekend, I was working with a customer and decided to add the work … [Read more...] about What do you know, it really is not about me?

Why can’t he count? – My Road Rage continues

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This frustration is getting to be a thing with me. I have written about it twice before. I have thought about it and put it through my WRAP plan checklist to see if I could figure out why I am feeling frustrated while driving. As I’ve said, I had gotten over this once before. And if I could get over New York and New Jersey drivers, surely, I could relax … [Read more...] about Why can’t he count? – My Road Rage continues