Why is this so darn hard? What is it that is keeping me from doing this? I set my alarm with the most optimistic of intentions and fall asleep. But something goes sideways between the time I go to bed and the time I had picked to get up. And I hit the snooze alarm. Heck today, I reset the alarm about an hour before I had planned to get up, avoiding the snooze … [Read more...] about I just want to get out of bed
anxiety
Today I wish I were sad
That would be a step up from where I am right now. The harder I work on my recovery, the further behind I feel. Now part of this may be the time of year. I know about S.A.D. and what happens when you do not get enough sunlight. This could certainly be a factor in how I feel. But why is it, particularly when I am taking the SMART Training classes and learning so many … [Read more...] about Today I wish I were sad
Our lives’ are all about making choices
Sometimes it’s as simple as what will I have for breakfast. Should I just have a bowl of cereal, maybe with banana slices on it? Or should I make eggs, possibly bacon, toast, and grits? What about skipping breakfast and just grabbing coffee? Each of these choices, small as they may be, come with consequences. Grabbing cereal is fast but may not last … [Read more...] about Our lives’ are all about making choices
It’s all piling up, I’ve got to get a grip
Here are the clues I’m not on my game. I don’t sleep well. I am back to the waking every hour or so.  When I work late and close the building, I am going to bed about 1 AM. I wake at 3, then 4, then 5:30, 6:30, AM or so, and I keep trying to get some solid REM sleep before getting out of bed. It isn’t … [Read more...] about It’s all piling up, I’ve got to get a grip
Have I reached a Plateau? Is it up or down from here?
30 weeks into my life with depression, I have plateaued. I have no clue as to what is next. It could be I am consolidating what I have learned, assessing what is working and then steeling myself for the next leg up. Or, I am nearer to the abyss than I have been in months, and all I need is a triggering event to throw me head long into that rabbit hole of doom and … [Read more...] about Have I reached a Plateau? Is it up or down from here?
