My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

anxiety

There are still doors my keys do not open

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The problem is not all or nothing. Although it feels like that when I am stuck, immobile and indecisive. Once the day gets going, I am better equipped to use the tools I have learned to meet and defeat problems as they come my way. Between SMART Recovery, WRAP training, Peer Support at On Our Own, meetings with my therapist and psychiatrist, I have learned so much about … [Read more...] about There are still doors my keys do not open

I still have time for Valentine’s Day

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Procrastination could just be a guy thing, not a sign of depression. Whatever the cause, I am going to be one of those last-minute husbands today, rushing around to select just the right card from the picked over selection left after the early birds claimed their worms (cards). And then it’s a visit to the chocolate shop, to pick the right treats. Oh, … [Read more...] about I still have time for Valentine’s Day

The Circle of Life Sucks – Digging an Animal Grave Part II

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The inevitable happened today. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. He was over 15 years old and had lived a charmed life for a cat. Although he never had offspring, he had a family that he loved and that loved him. He was a hunter, a birdwatcher, and he loved to show his dominance in the pack. His name was Pumpkin after his “pumpkin … [Read more...] about The Circle of Life Sucks – Digging an Animal Grave Part II

Depression Wants Me to Keep Secrets Again

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Since I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, I have learned just how secretive depression is. And I have learned many of the sneaky trick’s depression has used with me over the past 43+ years as it kept a hold over me. The craziest part about my relationship with depression is that it always makes me feel like I am in control. Worse, the ideas … [Read more...] about Depression Wants Me to Keep Secrets Again