My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

concealed depression

With Depression, Why Can’t I Get Past the Past?

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Today I am feeling sorry for myself. Ok, I have been dragging around feeling sorry for myself for at least a month. And at the same time, I have been trying to hide it from even myself. I can turn on the positive, let’s do anything attitude while at work. To me, I am giving 100% during the workday. The feedback I get from managers and employees is that I … [Read more...] about With Depression, Why Can’t I Get Past the Past?

Depression Is Not My Boss (Day 1 revisited)

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Thirty-three months ago, I returned home after spending four days in 5 East. I was a mess, pure and simple. My diagnosis was Major Depressive Disorder, with suicidal ideation. Heck, just the name sounded like a gigantic problem. My depression left me with no ambition except to make it to the end of the day. My goal then was to make it until dark. Then I could reward myself … [Read more...] about Depression Is Not My Boss (Day 1 revisited)

I’m Too Busy to Be So Busy – Self-care Part II

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What in the world? I know I’m not sure I know what is going on either. But what I do know is I haven’t had a chance to slow down since early December. It’s been over 7 weeks since I felt like I had a few minutes I could take for myself. Getting on a plane and flying to see my grandson was about me and my family. But it … [Read more...] about I’m Too Busy to Be So Busy – Self-care Part II

What Should I Do with All I Have Learned About Depression?

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I must tell you I am very unsettled about this. On the one hand, I have collected and am using a wealth of knowledge about depression. My personal experience includes high-functioning depression, concealed depression, and Major Depressive Disorder. Recently, it was pointed out by my psychiatrist that Anxiety has been present. My life with depression spans 50 years., and … [Read more...] about What Should I Do with All I Have Learned About Depression?

Pure Joy With Depression? It Makes Me Feel Good All Over

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I admitted that I was feeling good to my Psychiatrist on Wednesday. My 3-month medicine management appointment was first thing in the morning. I was early, as usual, and I caught up on my email using my phone while waiting for my doctor. My Psychiatrist was happy to see me. She told me that when she checked her appointments last night, she was thrilled to see I was her … [Read more...] about Pure Joy With Depression? It Makes Me Feel Good All Over