My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

concealed depression

Even the dog got up early today

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I have a therapy appointment this morning. When the alarm went off, I got up and went into the bathroom to take my medicine. After my psychiatrist appointment last month, he felt the 20 mg. of Prozac was all I needed, and I should see him again next month. I am still impressed that he actually spent time with me during my appointment. I had expected 5 minutes and we … [Read more...] about Even the dog got up early today

Are these really early warning signs?

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The last few weeks are catching up with me. Between working 7 days in a row, then flying to Chicago, coming back and working another 7 in a row, I am slowing down just a little bit. For example, my legs felt it when we walked the dog yesterday evening. Our property has many hills and they usually do not bother me. Last night, it felt like someone was pulling on my legs, … [Read more...] about Are these really early warning signs?

With so many voices, why am I listening to that one?

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It isn’t logical. There is no direct evidence that this one voice is correct. In fact, there is overwhelming evidence that this voice is not the one I should listen to. It is not the one I should pay attention to. I should not stay up late tossing and turning over this voice. I should not be thinking that this voice is right, and all the other … [Read more...] about With so many voices, why am I listening to that one?

I stand up for what’s important to me

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Depression makes me want to sit down, lie down, curl up in a ball. It doesn’t like it when I stand up, let alone stand up for what’s important to me. Depression would prefer I ignore anything that doesn’t directly involve paying attention to its unhelpful thinking. It is most comfortable when it has me time traveling. I can easily be in the future or the past. There is … [Read more...] about I stand up for what’s important to me