That’s how I am beginning to feel. As I get a better understanding of depression and my responsibilities for keeping it under control, I am slowing down. This is new to me. Being very competitive, I am always measuring things. How many steps to the top entrance to the building, how many tiles on the wall in the men’s room. How much are sales up year over year? So, hearing … [Read more...] about Hurry up and wait
job
Why am I still obsessing over this?
It’s done, I did not take the job. But I’m still rolling the decision over and over in my head. Am I sure I thought about it in the right way? Isn’t it possible it could have been good for me? Maybe it was running towards the future, not running away from the present. I am so mad. I really wanted to get going with a job outside of the house. My home-based business is still … [Read more...] about Why am I still obsessing over this?
Am I running away again if I take this job?
I said I would not take the job. Of course, that was before the interview. That was before I spent an hour answering questions from seven board members. That was before I realized how much fun I was having. When I left the interview, it seemed like they wanted me. But you never know about these things. I had asked when they would be making their decision. I was told they would … [Read more...] about Am I running away again if I take this job?
Am I Going Too Fast?
Several people now have mentioned I should be slowing down. Is this what recovering from depression is about? Taking it easy? Making sure I have lots of self-care built into my day? Being aware of my automatic thoughts and slowing down my thinking so I do not make impulsive decisions? That seems like a lot to do. Slowing down is time consuming. Now I am not dismissing … [Read more...] about Am I Going Too Fast?
No chunks. It’s everything, all the time.
My plan for the week is to break my thoughts into chunks. There will be a chunk for the depression. Then there is a chunk for self-care. I wish I could report that I am doing a wonderful job with the self-care piece of my recovery, but it hasn’t been as simple as I thought it would be. Getting out of my own head for a few minutes has been a challenge. The thoughts just … [Read more...] about No chunks. It’s everything, all the time.