My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

self care

The End is the Beginning?

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I am not sure where I stand today. This lagging sense of dullness has not passed. It has been there in one form or another for weeks. Let me say right here that it is not that way 100% of the time. I have had some special moments over the holidays that I will treasure. But do not ask me about waking up or getting out of bed. I know I have written this topic to death … [Read more...] about The End is the Beginning?

How could I miss a dose? – Doing the drugs Part III

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I have gone through this before. In fact, that is why I got the seven-day pill caddy. On Saturday, after I take my Prozac, I fill the tray for the following week. In each section, I add two 20 Mg. Prozac pills, giving me a clear record for each day. When I first get up in the morning, I take the two pills before leaving the bathroom. At any point in the morning, I … [Read more...] about How could I miss a dose? – Doing the drugs Part III

I have no gift to bring – Parumpapapum

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That’s what the little drummer boy said when told he was going to meet Jesus. The story is a great lesson on what a gift really is regardless of your religious beliefs. The little drummer boy was poor, held no currency and was in the lowest social strata at the time. Yet he did have a gift. It was his ability to play the drum. This is what he gave, … [Read more...] about I have no gift to bring – Parumpapapum

Self-care may mean not writing today

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I thought I would have time to write. In my mind, I had a photo of my "Williamsburg" centerpiece all decorated. In the past 20 years, I have made one every Christmas. This year, so far, it is an empty board with a bunch of short nails hammered into it to hold the different kinds of fruit I fill it with. The base is covered with pine needles. I clip small branches and … [Read more...] about Self-care may mean not writing today