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Green apples with smiley faces symbolizing concealed depression.

My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

unhealthy thinking styles

What am I telling myself?

August 31, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss

A circular diagram illustrating the iterative process to achieve success.

Sometimes I surprise myself. I can come up with some of the craziest ideas. So, when I hear myself talking, I pay attention to how I am saying things. And sometimes I do not realize what I am saying, or that there may be a healthier, more positive way to say something. I am trying to catch my automatic thoughts as they occur. Guess what? I am doing it. There is no … [Read more...] about What am I telling myself?

What do you know, it really is not about me?

August 28, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss

Neon sign with a dark message about personal chaos.

I get so caught up in myself. An unhelpful thought pops into my head and the next thing I know, I am off living in the future. I had been concerned about having my work email on my phone. Finding excuses and reasons why I could not get it set up gave me control over my relationship with work. This past weekend, I was working with a customer and decided to add the work … [Read more...] about What do you know, it really is not about me?

New thinking is helping me achieve balance in my life

August 25, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss

Silhouettes of two people on a seesaw, one side elevated.

How much time do you spend on self-care? I have been asked that question now for months. I have been jumping and running from one thing to another in my quest to learn all I can about depression. While this has been hugely helpful in understanding and facing depression, it has not left much time for other activities. And it turns out "life keepings happening while I learn … [Read more...] about New thinking is helping me achieve balance in my life

Why can’t he count? – My Road Rage continues

August 24, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss

A traffic officer managing cars at a street intersection.

This frustration is getting to be a thing with me. I have written about it twice before. I have thought about it and put it through my WRAP plan checklist to see if I could figure out why I am feeling frustrated while driving. As I’ve said, I had gotten over this once before. And if I could get over New York and New Jersey drivers, surely, I could relax … [Read more...] about Why can’t he count? – My Road Rage continues

What am I Teaching People About How to Treat Me?

August 22, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss

Hand holding a marker writing 'TEACHING' in blue ink.

I have spent over 100 days building my life facing depression, with the mantra "depression is not my boss." And yet, with all the support groups, therapy sessions, psychiatrist appointments, and independent reading I have done, I have not owned up to my own self-worth. I realized yesterday that I have not created healthy boundaries for myself. I am allowing others needs … [Read more...] about What am I Teaching People About How to Treat Me?

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Joel Natl Career Fair Bio Pic he's using for my concealed depressionHello, I am Joel Quas 

In April 2019, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation. By writing things out, I am learning more about my relationship with depression. 

Joel’s Next Book

The US has a a new 988 system that grabs location, not just area code.
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