What am I telling myself?

Sometimes I surprise myself.

I can come up with some of the craziest ideas. So, when I hear myself talking, I pay attention to how I am saying things. And sometimes I do not realize what I am saying, or that there may be a healthier, more positive way to say something.

I am trying to catch my automatic thoughts as they occur.

Guess what? I am doing it.

There is no try, there is action.

I am thinking about it, watching for those moments, and then as soon as I realize it has happened, I am calling it out. This is huge progress from where I was four months ago. I did not even know I was having these automatic thoughts. I was so used to the way depression trained me to think, I could not see the power the words I was thinking to myself were having on me.

Now I am on high alert for any unhelpful thinking, for any automatic thought, for any unhelpful thinking style. I am becoming attuned to what it looks and sounds like. This give me hope that I am on the right track. It gives me a sense of accomplishment.

This is a busy week for me. The new job is going great but my schedule has changed for the three days leading up to the holiday. This has gotten me off my routine, my daily schedule.

I am telling myself “it’s ok, you can handle it.”

But what is happening is I am hitting the snooze button at least once before getting up, then packing my lunch while I drink my morning protein shake, and then I am out the door.

Not much time to write.

So, this is me today, working on listening to what I am telling myself. And I am telling myself that it is ok if I cannot write every day. That life is going to happen, and I will get back into my routine in less than 48 hours.

See you in 48!