I don’t get it, why am I feeling so average, so run-of-the-mill?From a big picture perspective, things are going great. The job is exciting as I am getting to do a lot of teaching. I’m planning again, not just hoping to make it through the day. My daily to-do list is getting longer, which is something I thrive on. And even as Covid ramps up yet again, I am going to see my … [Read more...] about I Want To Think I Can, But Depression Has Me Feeling I Cannot
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What Does Your Depression Look Like? Mine Has Three Feelings.
My depression is a classic textbook hopelessness.Not the passing, “oh, I will never pass this exam,” or the “why didn’t I get the job?” While I have had many similar thoughts over my lifetime, these would only last a few days. I would get over it and move on. This feeling of hopelessness, in moderation, is a normal part of life. We all have disappointments and situations we … [Read more...] about What Does Your Depression Look Like? Mine Has Three Feelings.
That “Hard to Get Started in the Morning Feeling” is Back – Doing the Drugs Part VII
Doing the drugs, lately, I have been hoping that the "hard to get started in the morning feeling" will go away.I know when that hard to get started in the morning feeling is back, something is amiss. One or two days is not the end of the world. I had one day several weeks ago, but I know I had done quite a bit of work around the property. And the daytime temperature was near 94 … [Read more...] about That “Hard to Get Started in the Morning Feeling” is Back – Doing the Drugs Part VII
After Getting Help for Myself, I Can Now Share with Others
Asking for professional medical help was one of the hardest things I have ever done.I started writing the morning after I was released from the hospital. In 5 North, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, with suicidal ideation. Feeling up against the wall, seeking professional medical advice was the least hard of the three choices I felt I had.Choice #1 was to end it … [Read more...] about After Getting Help for Myself, I Can Now Share with Others
With Depression – 7 Reasons Average is Electrifying
You know your life has changed when average is thrilling.Going five days in a row being average is breathtaking. It has been several years since this has happened. Lately, I have been waking up and then getting up. The internal fight I would have with myself is gone. All the drama I would create around getting out of bed has disappeared.What is left is ME.I wish I could take … [Read more...] about With Depression – 7 Reasons Average is Electrifying
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