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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

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You are here: Home / Featured Home / This Year, A Little Rain Is OK

This Year, A Little Rain Is OK

May 17, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I am happy to be alive today even if it rains

I do not care if it rains all week, I am happy to be alive.

And guess what, my wish is coming true. The forecast is for seven days of showers. The best news is that my garden will get daily watering as the plants establish themselves. And then the days going into Memorial Day will be dry, calm and sunny. We are planning to have no more than 10 local family members gather around our fire pit and roast hotdogs from a respectable social distance.

Then it’s on to the smores.

A year ago, anticipating anything was not possible. It was hard just to imagine how I was going to get through the day. To plan anything was beyond my grasp. I still will have an off day now and again, but that up against the wall feeling has not appeared in many months.

READ: You won’t believe what I wrote to myself

And as I think about it, “those thoughts” have been absent for more than a month.

What a relief to notice that my daily thoughts center around the present. My goal has been to practice living in the present. Not time traveling to the past or the future has been a victory for me as I recover from major depressive disorder. If my mind paid frequent flyer miles, I could travel the world for free.

Today is full.

I have hung out the birdfeeders and made my lunch to take to work. I have spent time with my wife and have checked all of the flowering plants and vegetables we just purchased. While I have already planted many of them, I plan to get the rest in the ground before work tomorrow.

But now it’s time to get ready for my day job.

So I mark today as “doing OK, just happy to be alive.”

My concealed depression is written under the alias “Depression is not my boss.” I have certifications in SMART Recovery and am a Global Career Development Facilitator.

Diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder last year, I am sharing what I learn. If you know someone who might benefit from reading this, please share. 

I always appreciate your comments.

Filed Under: Featured Home, My life goes on, Self Care, Some days I feel like myself Tagged With: depression is not my boss, life and living, living a balanced life, Major Depressive Disorder, MDD, Memorial Day, social distancing, unhealthy thinking styles, unhelpful thinking styles

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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