Was Reducing My Wellbutrin a Good Idea?

It seemed like such a good idea when my psychiatrist and I discussed it.

Reducing my daily Wellbutrin from 450 mg. to 300 mg. seemed like a no-brainer. After all, winter has been mild, and the days are getting longer. I have spent more time outside this winter than I did last winter. And I am still draped in the afterglow of traveling to Africa.

During our trek up Kilimanjaro, I was still taking 450 mg of Wellbutrin daily.

It wasn’t until last Thursday during my medicine management doctor’s visit that I broached the subject of reducing my daily dose. I had been thinking about it for a few weeks. There were many signs, at least in my mind, that I was ready to lower the daily dosage.

Recently, there have been many days where I took my daily medicine because that was what I did every day.

Even though I wasn’t craving the medication, I was taking the 450 mg. because that is what I was prescribed. And reducing it was beginning to pop up in my mind many mornings. This past winter I had not needed the artificial sunlight. Last year, I used it most mornings during the darkest days of winter.

During this year’s winter, I haven’t noticed dark days.

Maybe there were dark days, but I was too focused on preparations for our trip to Kilimanjaro. Equipment checks, verifying passports, entry visas, trip insurance, and proper packing consumed much of my time. Plus I was corresponding with our guide company, Local Moshi, and keeping up with the three other climbers I would be trekking with.

So, I stuck to my daily routine of taking one 300 mg. Wellbutrin and one 150 mg. Wellbutrin.

And I never questioned whether I should be taking any different amount. There was no time for that. All my non-working hours were devoted to preparations for the trip. Taking my prescribed medication was low on my list of concerns. Taking my 450 mg was the first thing I would do after getting out of bed. I go into the bathroom and turn on the light.

Then, before doing anything else, I take my anti-depression medication.

Even if I really need to go, I take a moment and swallow my medication before doing anything else. This way I don’t get sidetracked and forget to take it. As I was learning about how to take my medications, I had a day when I just couldn’t remember if I had taken them. It was midafternoon, and I just could not decide if I had taken it or not.

Mentioning this to my peer advocate from On Our Own, and she suggested a daily pill dispenser.

So now, each Sunday morning, I fill the Sunday through Saturday compartments with my 450 mg dosage of Wellbutrin. I put in one 300 mg tablet and one 150 mg tablet. On my trip to Africa, I filled two weeks’ worth of these daily compartments with Wellbutrin.

Without fail, I would take these each morning.

I also found over-the-counter supplement holders for my fish oil, daily vitamin, and my joint health supplements. Even with the best of intentions, I was less successful in taking these daily. The higher the elevation, the less focused I was. But even though I was less than 100% in taking my supplements, I was 100% in taking my Wellbutrin. And each night, I take 20 mg of generic Benicar for high blood pressure.

I remembered this too, without exception.

Now it has been five weeks or so since returning from the summit, 19,431 feet above sea level. I am settling into daily life again. Getting to work, getting the trash, and recycling to the landfill, and making my bed each morning. Plus all of the household projects that I put on hold to focus on the trip abroad. I have applied dormant spray to the fruit trees, cleaned up my home office (again), replenished the firewood on the front porch, and kept up with my other daily chores.

Taking my daily medication is just another part of my daily routine.

So, I am not sure whether I really need the additional 150 mg. of Wellbutrin. Maybe it’s just that after a week, I am finally thinking about the change. And more importantly, I am now thinking about my attitude toward the change in dosage.

I cannot blame my psychiatrist, for I am the one who suggested it.

Reducing the dosage is something I have done more than once in the past few years. And then I bumped it back up from 300 to 450 mg. My former psychiatrist, who left and went to Montana to start her own practice, deferred to me and how I was feeling. My new psychiatrist thankfully has taken the same attitude.

I had been anxious about how she would approach my situation.

During our first visit, I spent most of our time together comparing her to my former psychiatrist. During this visit, I was much more relaxed and able to hear what she was saying without drawing comparisons. This made the visit much more productive. And I had a chance to show off my picture of our team on the summit of Kilimanjaro.

So, reducing my daily dosage was something I brought up, backed up with several reasons why I felt this was appropriate.

And even as she agreed, she also stated that she was writing refill prescriptions for both the 300 mg and the 150 mg Wellbutrin tablets. And she left it to me to decide if I needed the additional portion. This empowered me and at the time, made me feel in control of my feelings.

Now I am second-guessing my decision.

Much of this comes from several days of rainy, dark weather. Since last Thursday, we have had a series of wetter days. Even though it is winter, none of this was snow, although there has been some ice on top of the mountain as I commute from my side to the valley on the other side. But this weather issue is only a way for me to put the responsibility for my decision on something else.

After all, I said that I am doing better and do not need the extra 150 mg of Wellbutrin.

And it’s not the rain or the darker days that have me second-guessing my decision. If I take control over my attitude toward the new dosage, I can better see what is going on. And it is not all bad.

It is changing, and any change can be stressful, even positive change.

So this morning, I took the 300 mg only, just as I have done for the past 6 days. And I will give it another week or so before I do anything to change the amount I am taking. Giving my system a chance seems fair. And there are many positive events coming up in the next week, so I will have distractions as I adjust to the lower dose of medication.

So, I will stop being anxious about the change and focus on what I need to do for the upcoming events.