My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

I’m Too Busy to Be So Busy – Self-care Part II

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What in the world? I know I’m not sure I know what is going on either. But what I do know is I haven’t had a chance to slow down since early December. It’s been over 7 weeks since I felt like I had a few minutes I could take for myself. Getting on a plane and flying to see my grandson was about me and my family. But it … [Read more...] about I’m Too Busy to Be So Busy – Self-care Part II

Can I Share My Life Experiences in A Published Book?

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Having written two books, I know what it would take to write another one. However, the first two books were not personal. At least not in the same way as what I am currently contemplating. One book is on basic management and the other focuses on what you need to get hired. In each book, I gave personal STARS; examples of situations I encountered, the actions I took, and the … [Read more...] about Can I Share My Life Experiences in A Published Book?

Depression Is Sad I Am Looking Forward to Christmas

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This year, I am in control of how I view Christmas. When depression is in charge, I have given over to it my ability to choose how I feel. During these times, I have let depression tell me how I should feel. And then I go along with that very obediently. I do not want to upset depression and it makes sure that I know that. Depression wants me to be secretive and not share … [Read more...] about Depression Is Sad I Am Looking Forward to Christmas

My Depression Operates in The Smallest Spaces

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Before I began learning about how depression works, all I knew were my spectacular crashes. As I thought back on my life, I could clearly see four major episodes that my depression exacerbated. These were times when I was circling the drain, was up against the wall, and could not see any way forward. To an outsider, I can only imagine how that must have looked. But for … [Read more...] about My Depression Operates in The Smallest Spaces

Depression Has Left Me a “Deer in Headlights” Again

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I want to decide, but I feel frozen instead. There are things I can do right now that would address getting out of bed in the morning. But somehow, all I can muster is my “being OK†act. My high-functioning depression kicks in when I must get out of bed. This morning is a perfect example. I had gone to bed just before 10 PM. Eight hours … [Read more...] about Depression Has Left Me a “Deer in Headlights” Again