Photo by Kaysha on Unsplash My checklist has items on it I did not complete. I have only checked off three. But I also policed the front and back yards for dog poo and then mowed the backyard inside of the fence. Neither of these was on my list. And did I mention I also trimmed the winter grass from around the blueberry bushes? This was not on the list, either. What … [Read more...] about I Feel So Guilty for Not Doing More Today
Guilt and Shame
Photo by Content Pixie on Unsplash The whole idea of being outside for a self-care day was exciting. And then to get to work on outdoor projects, was for me, the best self-care imaginable. As the day unfolded, I expected that I would think going outside and working on things that needed doing would create a conflict for me. After all, I had indoor projects that needed … [Read more...] about I Took a Self-Care Day and I Don’t Feel Guilty
Photo by Total Shape on Unsplash 172.5 pounds is where I bottomed out after returning from Africa. And if I had let the scale finish this morning, it would have read 185 and something. But as soon as I saw the 185, I jumped off the scale and did not let it finish and lock in a weight. After all, if it’s not in writing, it's not official. Yet my body can tell that it’s … [Read more...] about I’m Gaining Weight – Can I Blame My Depression?
Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash I want to say that I have figured it out and have all of the answers. If I could say, “I understand what and why,” that would be amazing. And by saying that, I would be saying that my depression will never appear again. In the past, my trips to the abyss have been lengthy and very brutal. So I want to never, ever again, circle the … [Read more...] about What I Have Learned About My Depression
Photo by Mert Talay on Unsplash Yet it turns out that depression and I have a bond that will entwine us for the rest of my life. And even though right now, my depression is on vacation, I know it is still with me. While I am not feeling like I am “up against the wall,” I know my depression is still there. It is getting very good at tossing unhelpful thinking my way. … [Read more...] about I Wasn’t Planning for My Depression to Be a Lifelong Companion