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“I Live With Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning About It.

You are here: Home / Self Care / I Took a Self-Care Day and I Don’t Feel Guilty

I Took a Self-Care Day and I Don’t Feel Guilty

March 21, 2023 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I had a self-care day and I did not feel guilty

Photo by Content Pixie on Unsplash

The whole idea of being outside for a self-care day was exciting.

And then to get to work on outdoor projects, was for me, the best self-care imaginable. As the day unfolded, I expected that I would think going outside and working on things that needed doing would create a conflict for me.

After all, I had indoor projects that needed attention, too.

Starting from the moment I woke up; I saw the day as full of overdue projects. So instead of throwing up my hands and saying, “too much,” I made out a list. Then I went through the list and prioritized, at least in my head, what were must-dos and what was only like to-dos.

This gave me a starting point for the day.

I quickly ran the vacuum, doing our bedroom, my office, and the two guest bedrooms. I am still surprised by how much dog fur I vacuum up. Then I threw on some shorts, a T-shirt, and a hoodie and went to the store. The first stop was Tractor Supply. I wanted a gas can that was a diesel fuel can. They are yellow, not red. I found exactly what I needed. Heading to the checkout, I did look at the live chicks for sale but did not purchase any.

Then I went to the grocery store and finished the list.

Getting home, I put everything away, sliced, and ate a fresh mango. Only then did my real self-care begin. Doing the household stuff was my way of averting any guilty feelings about working on projects on the property. Vacuuming, emptying the dishwasher, and taking out the recycling are all activities I do regularly. Knowing these had been accomplished left me feeling guilt-free.

I took my non-guilty thinking outside and began working.

First, I needed to reattach the cover to the greenhouse my wife gave me for Christmas. The first time I tried this, the winds were causing the entire cover to inflate like a parachute. Even shoveling dirt onto the tabs on each side wasn’t enough to keep the wind from rolling it over.

So I left the frame in the garden and put the greenhouse cover in the lawnmower shed.

Today, I re-stretched the cover onto the metal frame. I was able to trench around the entire structure, solidly securing the sides and back with large amounts of soil. Rolling up all of the screened windows and the door I feel, will make any future wind less of a threat. Of course, as soon as I put plants inside it, I will need to close every opening each night.

Even though it is spring, the weather here hasn’t completely gotten the message.

Next, I mowed the grass in front of the porch and used the weed eater to trim along the edges. I even went around the side of the house, all the way to my large rose bush. Then I got out the doggy pooper scooper and collected specimens from the front yard. I know I should have collected the poop first, but it didn’t happen that way.

Now don’t forget, this is my self-care time and I am guilt-free as I work.

Lastly, I got the chainsaw out and cut the tree stems forming around the two front yard trees.  Well first, I cut everything back with hand trimmers and then moved the large rocks near each growth. As I finally have a chainsaw that starts almost on the first try, I was able to cut back the growths around the base of the tree. Next day off, I will get mulch, and new landscaping fabric, and reset the stone rings around each tree.

Ok, so it isn’t exactly the last thing, but in my mind, it is still feeling like self-care.

I had wrapped all 12 of my fruit trees with a rolled plastic shield that covered the bottom of each trunk, I had wanted to take these off last year but only got to it today. All were ok except for the Jonathan apple. The wrapped plastic did not give as it did on the other trees.

So, the trunk is now fat below where the trunk protector was, thin under the plastic wrap, and then thick again above it.

I am very happy that I made the time to take these protectors off. And I imagine the tree is even happier. I expect the tree was saying, “I am so glad that it was a self-care day!” What else? Then I swept the cut grass off of the front porch, and I. stayed hydrated, drinking numerous 16-ounce cups of water. I even answered a text from work, addressing a sales projection without feeling guilty for not doing more on my day off.

So, there was no guilt and my day of self-care is still going strong.

As the sun sets and I begin to think of dinner, I am so thankful to have an entire day devoted to self-care. I did not diminish the day by conjuring up all of the inside projects that I wasn’t doing so that I could be outside doing projects.  Tomorrow is another day, and if I must feel guilty, it will be another day.

But, for now, I still have the remainder of this glorious, guilt-free, self-care day!

Filed Under: Depression, Facts and myths about mental illness, Featured Home, Guilt and Shame, Mental Health, My Depression, Self Care Tagged With: depression, feeling guilty, guilt, guilt and shame, mental health, mental health awareness, self-care. self care

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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