My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

Mental Health

Is It My Depression or The Death of My Mother?

by

Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash Either way, I have felt better than this. And there is no real difference these days. At first, I thought that my mother passing (which is the chicken way to say she died) would affect me like my father’s death 30 years earlier. When Dad died, I was all business. Stopping to get in touch with my feelings was not a thing I considered. … [Read more...] about Is It My Depression or The Death of My Mother?

Can I Really Beat My Depression?

by

Photo by kevin Baquerizo on Unsplash My personal history aside, I feel my gut saying the outcome is at best 50-50. There have been times in my life where depression has been the driving force. And yet there have been years where depression was missing. And I spent most of my life denying that my having depression was even a possibility. I knew there were times where … [Read more...] about Can I Really Beat My Depression?

Love Yourself First, And Everything Else Falls into Line.

by

I came across this quote as I was catching up on world events this morning. “Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.†- Lucille Ball The fact that I grew up watching Lucille Ball made this even more special for me. I have heard this idea before and am … [Read more...] about Love Yourself First, And Everything Else Falls into Line.

I’m Getting Ready to Tell Work That I Have Major Depressive Disorder

by

I originally wrote letters to my employees, boss, and the company I work for 2 ½ years ago. Talk about being chicken s&^t. While I haven’t followed through, I am still thinking that telling the world is the next logical step. That telling the world will help others. More importantly, I feel that it will help me. Finally, I have put my real name on my blog. The big … [Read more...] about I’m Getting Ready to Tell Work That I Have Major Depressive Disorder

I Was Fooling Myself and I Didn’t Know (Didn’t Care)

by

Photo by abigail low on Unsplash In my mind, my depression was off for the summer. It had flown south, and was on a beach somewhere in the tropics, sipping a rum and coke and contemplating the waves. Spending time with me was going to wait until cooler weather set in. Until then, my depression and I had parted company. I was finally free to be depression free. Or so I … [Read more...] about I Was Fooling Myself and I Didn’t Know (Didn’t Care)