My mind is all over the place lately. Now I know there is a lot going on, but that is no excuse. OK, so a year ago I was in the hospital being treated for MDD, major depressive disorder. Then I came out of retirement and went back to work in management. Then, the pandemic happened and all sorts of customs (social distancing) and costumes (masks) have become the new … [Read more...] about Super Focused, Then Super Distrac… Oh Look, a Squirrel
Self Care
Every Day I Push the Same Rock Up the Same Hill
Some days it is a pebble and the hill is hardly noticeable. Other days, it is a boulder and the hill is more of a mountain, that ascends almost vertically from the valley floor. During these days, my depression is everything. Concealing it and acting to the world like nothing is wrong takes all my energy. And I mean every single ounce of energy I can muster to keep people … [Read more...] about Every Day I Push the Same Rock Up the Same Hill
I Did Not Kill A Painted Turtle Today – A Joyful Part II
As we were walking our dog recently, the subject of painted turtles came up. We talked about when they would be coming out of the water to lay their eggs in the lower part of our property. I have a small bag full of the leathery shells I have collected that the baby turtles leave behind when they break free of their land based underground nest and head for the lake. In the … [Read more...] about I Did Not Kill A Painted Turtle Today – A Joyful Part II
Same Stuff, Just A Different Day
Why am I stuck in this loop of sameness? As I begin writing, I realize this is not the first time I have written about this. My mind has been stuck in a painful, unproductive loop before. And how to jump-start a new, more productive loop is where I am now. READ: Will everyday be the same? Last night, after getting home from work, I had a small meal. By 11 PM, I … [Read more...] about Same Stuff, Just A Different Day
I Do Not Give A Hoot Today
But I really want to care. Somehow, I need to jump-start my recovery again. All I seem to do is to be going sideways. I am not allowing myself to be honest about what is going on inside me. This puts me back to being “evergreen,†not letting my depression show. I do this at a great cost to myself. So, I am beginning to see how much … [Read more...] about I Do Not Give A Hoot Today
