I cannot believe depression had me thinking this. Having just gone through a period of four weeks with increasing signs of a relapse, I am relieved that it is over. Well, over for the moment. Not over as in I will never have to go through that again. Yet each time this happens, I want to think it will never happen again. Coming out of the abyss, I see a new world, full of … [Read more...] about With Or Without Depression, It’s Never Always Rainbows and Unicorns
SMART Recovery
Depression Is Not My Boss (Day 1 revisited)
Thirty-three months ago, I returned home after spending four days in 5 East. I was a mess, pure and simple. My diagnosis was Major Depressive Disorder, with suicidal ideation. Heck, just the name sounded like a gigantic problem. My depression left me with no ambition except to make it to the end of the day. My goal then was to make it until dark. Then I could reward myself … [Read more...] about Depression Is Not My Boss (Day 1 revisited)
My Depression Operates in The Smallest Spaces
Before I began learning about how depression works, all I knew were my spectacular crashes. As I thought back on my life, I could clearly see four major episodes that my depression exacerbated. These were times where I was circling the drain, was up against the wall, and could not see any way forward. To an outsider, I can only imagine how that must have looked. But for … [Read more...] about My Depression Operates in The Smallest Spaces
With Depression, I Can Do What I Want, Can’t I?
Having control over my attitude towards events is all I can do. But that one thing is extremely powerful. It sent men to the moon after the Soviet Union put Sputnik into space. The US program was still launching high-altitude weather balloons. After Sputnik, the attitude of the country was “we have to do something.” And Kennedy making that promise, in front of the world … [Read more...] about With Depression, I Can Do What I Want, Can’t I?
What Should I Do with All I Have Learned About Depression?
I must tell you I am very unsettled about this. On the one hand, I have collected and am using a wealth of knowledge about depression. My personal experience includes high-functioning depression, concealed depression, and Major Depressive Disorder. Recently, it was pointed out by my psychiatrist that Anxiety has been present. My life with depression spans 50 years., and … [Read more...] about What Should I Do with All I Have Learned About Depression?