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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

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You are here: Home / Featured Home / I Almost “Should” All Over Myself This Morning.

I Almost “Should” All Over Myself This Morning.

December 12, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 2 Comments

I’m not sure if I mentioned I hit a deer with my truck a few weeks ago.

I never found the deer. It was after 11:30 PM and the road was a dark, two lane affair through the country. I turned around twice and looked carefully on both sides of the road.

Nothing. The next day, on the way to work, I checked again for any signs of the deer, or maybe circling buzzards. Still Nothing.

While the truck was still drivable, there was a lot of hidden damage under the hood. This morning, I picked up the truck from the body shop. The truck looks marvelous. As I was sitting in the office waiting for the final paperwork, “woulda, coulda, shoulda” thoughts engulfed me.

The owner was a 30 something young man with a very positive, professional attitude. His wife had Christmas presents spread out all over the reception desk, making lists of what she had gotten for each of their children. It was almost a Norman Rockwell moment.

As I sat there, my mind flashed to different businesses I have owned.

In particular, I remember the vending company I built from $90K in gross sales to a ¼ of a million dollars in gross sales in 20 months. And the family helped in the business. But just when the fruits on my labors were paying off, I jumped ship and sold it.  So now I am in the office of someone who, at least so far, has not jumped ship, is still engaged in his business and is HAPPY.

“Woulda, coulda, shoulda” isn’t the answer.

That was a long time ago and I cannot go back and have a “do-over.” But I can look at the situation I am in now and ask better questions, so I have better long-term outcomes.

READ: I promise not to should on myself today

My attitude about events is what I can control.

And using the CBA worksheets and Asking Better Questions is a start. But those what-ifs are still nagging at me. The future is where I need to be, not the past. Well, really I need to be in the present. The future will take care of itself if I take care of the present moment.

So here I am, “what’s next?”

Filed Under: Featured Home, Self Care, Unhelpful thinking Tagged With: Ask better questions, deer, depression, depression and anxiety, should thinking, shoulding, unhealthy thinking styles, unhelpful thinking styles

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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