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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

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You are here: Home / Featured Home / I bumped into my old self this morning

I bumped into my old self this morning

November 26, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss 3 Comments

The prozac is working, I see my old self, not depressed

It was totally unexpected.

I guess I had secretly hoped it would happen but was very guarded in my expectations. It has been five days since my Psychiatrist increased my Prozac from 20 mg to 40 mg daily.

My instructions are to let him know in 3 weeks how I am feeling, sooner if there are noticeable side effects.

Well, this morning I noticed a welcome side effect.

Or not a side effect, but the medicine that is working as intended. I got out of bed when the alarm clock rang. This should have been the first sign something had changed because lately, I have been hitting the snooze alarm several times before arising.

Then, as I head across the bedroom, through the hall, and into the kitchen, I realize that I am not feeling anxious.

I am just feeling awake and ready for coffee. As I start collecting my things for work and putting them by the door; my lunchbox, thermos with coffee, radio for work, my 34-ounce metal water bottle, I am still feeling good.

As I eat my bowl of cereal with a banana sliced on top, I still feel like my old self.

Then I hit the shower, take all my daily supplements and go into the closet to dress for the workday. I put my wallet in my back pocket and head to my home office to write before heading out the door to my day job.

READ: Celebrating the little victories brings balance into my life

There is a sense of anticipation about the day ahead, instead of a feeling of anxiety.

This is awesome and as I say, totally unexpected. My plan is to bask in the feeling as long as it lasts, with the realization that depression is somewhere on the sidelines, feeling sad and very undervalued. I know depression wants me back under its depressive, unrelenting cloud, but not today.

Today is a great day and I am looking forward to being in the moment.

Filed Under: Featured Home, Medication, Some days I feel like myself Tagged With: concealed depression, depression, depression and anxiety, feeling good, healthy, life, lifestyle, prozac, prozac 40mg

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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