And it’s my day off from my day job, a self-care day. Yet I once again did not get up early. I used the excuse that I got in just before midnight and didn’t get to bed until almost 1 AM. But I’ve used that excuse before, saying I need to make sure I get enough sleep. Now that I write this, I see that I have flipped the equation on its head. For months, I had been … [Read more...] about I’m Feeling Rushed Today
This year, getting in the holiday spirit is not automatic. Traditionally, I have been all over the holidays. The traditions, getting together with family, getting out decorations has been enjoyable. When the kids were smaller, they helped fuel the excitement of the season. Christmas is on autopilot, and I am going through the motions. There have been several … [Read more...] about It doesn’t feel like “7 more shopping days” until Christmas
I knew living with depression was not going to be a cakewalk. There are challenges and setbacks, successes and snags in my recovery. Now I find out that there are response and remission. I know I was thinking of my recovery as remission. How naive is that? Speaking with my Peer Advocate today, I heard the term residual depression for the first time. Until today, I did … [Read more...] about 28 weeks into recovery, now I have residual depression?
Silence was my only friend while driving. It wasn’t always like that. I remember buying a power booster for a Dodge Ram Charger I owned. I mounted two speakers in frames on either side of the back seat. I had an 8-track and a stereo cassette player mounted under the dash. I loved to roll the windows down and sing as I drove. So how have I ended up driving silently? At one … [Read more...] about I stopped playing music when I’m driving
It’s done, I did not take the job. But I’m still rolling the decision over and over in my head. Am I sure I thought about it in the right way? Isn’t it possible it could have been good for me? Maybe it was running towards the future, not running away from the present. I am so mad. I really wanted to get going with a job outside of the house. My home-based business is still … [Read more...] about Why am I still obsessing over this?