I know they are only trying to help. And I want to be helped. Or so I say. But is that true? Am I feeling so guilty and embarrassed about talking to someone about my depression that I am pushing away those who want to help? I did that with two therapists, and now I am close to pushing away my peer advocate. They are professionals who are in my life to help me learn to … [Read more...] about I’m Feeling Embarrassed and Guilty For Not Being a Better Patient
concealed depression
The Day Has Just Begun, Why Does Depression Think I’m Finished?
It could be a slight case of jet lag, or the fact that yesterday I worked a much later shift than normal. Or it may be a combination of the two. Either way, I am not feeling very productive this morning. That is the real culprit. It is not the fact that I am plodding along this morning. Feeling bad about plodding along is what’s going on. I am allowing myself to feel … [Read more...] about The Day Has Just Begun, Why Does Depression Think I’m Finished?
It’s Not Depression Today, It’s Just Severe Weather.
Rain had been in the forecast for a few days now. It started in the middle of the night, and it has been raining hard off and on ever since. As the cloudsthickened and the first light peeked over the horizon, Parker Mountain disappeared into the fog. Thishappens from time to time, as storms fill the small valley. Trying to write on my laptop this morning is more … [Read more...] about It’s Not Depression Today, It’s Just Severe Weather.
Why Can’t I Just Make It Easy And Stop Facing My Depression?
Facing my depression, and saying it's name out loud, has been work. Sometimes the work has been exhausting. It has only been easy on rare occasions. Most of the time some effort is required on my part to call out depression’s antics and to work through an alternative that doesn’t involve unhelpful thinking. Yet in the past, time travel worked. I was able to ruminate … [Read more...] about Why Can’t I Just Make It Easy And Stop Facing My Depression?
Is It OK That I’m Good, But Not Too Good?
Now don’t get me wrong, I am genuinely thankful to be mentally where I am. And I am thankful for all the support I have been given, and the tools I have learned. There is so much about depression I did not know. For instance, some depression can be situational. The loss of a job or a loved one’s death can bring on this type of depression. Biological depression is inherent, … [Read more...] about Is It OK That I’m Good, But Not Too Good?