Photo by Nico Smit on Unsplash My depression has exclusivity in my life. Try as I might to invite others in to share my life, in the end, I find ways to stay distant. Even when I initiate the friendship or professional relationship, in the end, I find ways to stay distant from them. And even when I stay involved, my depression is still working to keep me separate from … [Read more...] about Why Won’t Depression Let Professional Help In?
depression is not my boss
I Don’t Have Time for This
It’s called a day off for a reason. However, for me, it is a race to get everything done in the 15 hours I will be awake. I focus on the day part, a day without going to work. But I completely ignore the OFF part. I have already been up an hour and 10 minutes. And I have: Checked my email from work (even though I am off)Took my medication, washed my face, and did other … [Read more...] about I Don’t Have Time for This
Now Back at The Gym, I Used Covid Instead of Depression for Why I Left
Depression told me it was an innocent slip, but I’m sure it was Freudian. I was sitting in the small office of my gym, re-registering. We were talking about getting back and without being asked, I volunteered that I had stopped because of Covid. This was true in a way, but it was not the real reason I stopped going. I stopped going to the gym because I had been in 5 East … [Read more...] about Now Back at The Gym, I Used Covid Instead of Depression for Why I Left
Stigma Has Kept Me From “Coming Out” With My Depression
If I weren't still dragging around the fear of what they might say, I would openly use my 500th blog post to email this letter to my friends and family. Dear Friend, I suffer from depression. (1) My life with depression started before I was 19, and depression has been a factor in most of my life’s decisions, both small and large. I do not say this to excuse my … [Read more...] about Stigma Has Kept Me From “Coming Out” With My Depression
My Depression Let Me Buy a New Computer
It’s been months since I’ve been able to work from the front porch. I know it’s my fault for not making the decision sooner. After all, my old laptop has been non-responsive for months. Yet every time I would start to research new laptops, I would hear a voice in my head. And it would remind me that I still have a PC in my home office that I can use. So why am I thinking … [Read more...] about My Depression Let Me Buy a New Computer