I know they are only trying to help. And I want to be helped. Or so I say. But is that true? Am I feeling so guilty and embarrassed about talking to someone about my depression that I am pushing away those who want to help? I did that with two therapists, and now I am close to pushing away my peer advocate. They are professionals who are in my life to help me learn to … [Read more...] about I’m Feeling Embarrassed and Guilty For Not Being a Better Patient
guilt and shame
Why Can’t I Just Make It Easy And Stop Facing My Depression?
Facing my depression, and saying it's name out loud, has been work. Sometimes the work has been exhausting. It has only been easy on rare occasions. Most of the time some effort is required on my part to call out depression’s antics and to work through an alternative that doesn’t involve unhelpful thinking. Yet in the past, time travel worked. I was able to ruminate … [Read more...] about Why Can’t I Just Make It Easy And Stop Facing My Depression?
Can I Share My Life Experiences in A Published Book?
Having written two books, I know what it would take to write another one. However, the first two books were not personal. At least not in the same way as what I am currently contemplating. One book is on basic management and the other focuses on what you need to get hired. In each book, I gave personal STARS; examples of situations I encountered, the actions I took, and the … [Read more...] about Can I Share My Life Experiences in A Published Book?
Is There Just Too Much Going On?
Last night one of my employees said I looked stressed. I certainly wasn't trying to project feeling that way. However, the look on my face must have given away what I have been trying to hide. Like my concealed depression, I have not shared my feelings at work. Well, almost never. And I was less than excited about the one or two times I attempted it. Sharing at work not … [Read more...] about Is There Just Too Much Going On?
The New Year Brings New Possibilities
How will I think about the new year? Answering this will set the tone for 2022. Accepting things that happen to me is what my depression would love. Its new year’s resolution begins, “I will make sure Joel is circling the drain by the end of 2022. I will make sure Joel remembers that I am the best thing that has happened to him. I resolve to make sure Joel sees that I am his … [Read more...] about The New Year Brings New Possibilities