For some reason, I envisioned a breakthrough session last night. By the end of the zoom meeting, I thought all my cares would be lifted and I would have found a nugget of truth I could work with until the next session. My anticipation of our first meeting under the new framework was hard to contain. After all, we had done some great work together. It was February 5th when … [Read more...] about Getting Back to Therapy Wasn’t What I Expected
With Depression, Am I Ready To Tell the Truth to My Psychiatrist? – Part I
High-functioning depression, that’s me. I can fake it like the best of them. Hiding my true feelings is an art form for me. There are so many ways I can tell you “I’m fine, I'm excited, I’m darn glad to be here.” In some ways, this is always true. Being anywhere is always preferable to the alternative. But being myself in every situation is difficult. And letting … [Read more...] about With Depression, Am I Ready To Tell the Truth to My Psychiatrist? – Part I
Pure Joy With Depression? It Makes Me Feel Good All Over
I admitted that I was feeling good to my Psychiatrist on Wednesday. My 3-month medicine management appointment was first thing in the morning. I was early, as usual, and I caught up on my email using my phone while waiting for my doctor. My Psychiatrist was happy to see me. She told me that when she checked her appointments last night, she was thrilled to see I was her … [Read more...] about Pure Joy With Depression? It Makes Me Feel Good All Over
What Depression Doesn’t Want You To Know About Unhelpful Thinking Styles
Predictable, steady, expectable, certain, sure, unsurprising, humdrum, obvious, and foreseeable. That is my life. And that has been my life for several months. I guess it is always something. And depression has clouded my life with generous helpings of unhelpful thinking. A year ago, I was fixated on not being able to get started in the morning. It took five months of … [Read more...] about What Depression Doesn’t Want You To Know About Unhelpful Thinking Styles
Want to get me feeling like I don’t deserve something?
Then just pay me a compliment. My mind immediately goes to everything I have ever done that didn’t measure up. I cannot hear the “good job” because my head is filled with “You don’t deserve this,” or “it’s only a matter of time before people figure out I am a fraud or imposter.” With all that in my head, I cannot hear “good job.” Now I have been working on this. I … [Read more...] about Want to get me feeling like I don’t deserve something?