My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

SMART Recovery

I Only Do “Drive-by” Conversations: Updated Sept. 23, 2025

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Ever rush through a doorknob conversation to avoid a challenge? I did too — until I noticed the habit and started truly listening. In the past few months, I can see that I have no longer been using this technique to get my ideas out in the open. I am better at saying what I am thinking when it comes into my head. I realized yesterday that I have not been a … [Read more...] about I Only Do “Drive-by” Conversations: Updated Sept. 23, 2025

The World Looks Easier at 20,000 Feet

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The big picture. That’s what I see from row 6, seat C of the airplane. Almost immediately after takeoff, my perspective changed. At first, I was seeing Buck Mountain Road that I had just traveled to get to the airport. Then the city passed under us, getting visibly smaller as we climbed to our cruising altitude. Now I am wondering why I am writing in … [Read more...] about The World Looks Easier at 20,000 Feet

Why am I packing this for my trip?

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My flight leaves at 1 PM today. It is almost 8;30 AM. I am usually packed the night before, ready to go. But my clean laundry is still in the laundry room. I did get my suitcase out of the closet yesterday and put my shaving kit on top of the suitcase. They are both sitting on the floor of my bedroom. As I pack, I keep the suitcase closed, because we have a cat that … [Read more...] about Why am I packing this for my trip?

First time on a plane

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Ok, so it’s the first time I will have flown since being in the hospital for depression. I am an avid adventurer and have been flying for over 50 years. I remember when people smoked on a plane. I remember pre 9/11 security and when we called flight attendants “stewardesses.†Giving up control to the pilot and crew has … [Read more...] about First time on a plane