• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • Mental Health Resources
    • Depression Resources
  • Blog
    • Coping
    • Medication
    • Self Care
    • Stress and Anxiety
    • Unhelpful thinking
      • Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
      • Fortune-Telling
      • Guilt and Shame
      • Time Travel
    • Sleep Issues
    • Depression
    • Covid19
    • Suicide & Self-Harm
    • Wellness Tools
      • SMART – Self Management And Recovery Training
      • WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan)
      • Change Triangle
  • Contact

“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Learning.

Turnaround
You are here: Home / Featured Home / Why am I packing this for my trip?

Why am I packing this for my trip?

September 20, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Packing my troubles is one way depression stays with me
Packing my troubles is one way depression stays with me

My flight leaves at 1 PM today.

It is almost 8;30 AM. I am usually packed the night before, ready to go.

But my clean laundry is still in the laundry room. I did get my suitcase out of the closet yesterday and put my shaving kit on top of the suitcase. They are both sitting on the floor of my bedroom.

As I pack, I keep the suitcase closed, because we have a cat that enjoys sleeping on anything new, such as clean clothes you have just packed. As the suitcase is still empty and standing upright in the bedroom, our cat has not been able to leave his mark.

Packing my clothes, medication, and laptop will be easy.

Once I start, my years of experience will kick in and I will count out the right number of socks, shirts, etc. for the trip. I will pack my toothbrush, toothpaste and other toiletries. And I will pack a book to read on the plane. No problem.

So why am I packing yesterdays work experience into my suitcase?

It wasn’t the best of days. Although I am vey good at my job, I am still learning how things are done at my latest location. There is a learning curve and I am not usually the one on the underside of the curve. But I certainly was yesterday.

And now I am packing up all my thoughts about yesterday and I am trying to load them into my carry-on bag.

I am so mad at myself right now. I decided to attend the SMART conference months ago. As soon as I learned about it, I was on board. The chance to hear from experts in the field of recovery was for me, a chance to see my future, to see the possibilities for my life going forward.

My long-term goal now is to be a peer advocate. To take the training, to learn all I can, so I can help others who find themselves “up against he wall.” After 43 years of concealing my depression, of not facing it, not even wanting to know what was happening when I was depressed, I am finally facing it, calling it out, keeping it in the open where I can see it.

Packing my frustration about yesterday into my luggage for the conference seems to be the work of depression and unhelpful thinking.

Why would I force myself to wallow in yesterday when I have been looking forward to this weekend for months? I went to work yesterday with a positive attitude, wanting to make sure loose ends were tied up before I left to fly to Chicago. So why am I dragging this with me?

As the coffee kicks in, I am going to get my clean clothes out of the laundry room and pack my suitcase.

I will reexamine why I want to pack yesterday into my luggage. I do not need it; it will not help me get the most out of my experience and it just doesn’t fit well inside my carry-on bag. This means I will give myself permission to leave it behind, to not pack it.

If I need to look at this issue again, you can bet I will know where to find it when I return home. But for now, I am going to live in the present, do the things I need to do to be at the gate in plenty of time, and make the most of this marvelous opportunity

What do you pack in your mind for a trip?

Filed Under: Featured Home, SMART - Self Management And Recovery Training, Unhelpful thinking Tagged With: concealed depression, depression, luggage, SMART, SMART Recovery, unhealthy thinking styles, Unhelpful thinking, unhelpful thinking styles

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder.  I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I once got so carried away searching for answers that I even earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

Get my latest posts, (your email is never sold or rented)

I developed a 38 Page Mental Health Tools Flipbook. Complete the Form and Get Your Free Copy Now.

Privacy Policy

Discover Self-Care, Coping Strategies, Understand Anxiety, Track your Triggers, Mood, and Sleep; Recap Therapy Sessions, and more.

https://myconcealeddepression.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/my-concealed-depression-intro.mp4
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest

More to See

The startling truth about coping statements for anxiety and depression

The Startling Truth About Coping Statements For Anxiety and Depression

October 28, 2020 By Depression Is Not My Boss

My 101 Coping Strategies for Anxiety

My 101 Best Coping Statements For Anxiety and Depression

October 18, 2020 By Depression Is Not My Boss

Am I Able to Be Happier, to Feel Joy?

January 24, 2023 By Depression Is Not My Boss

Depression almost kept me from summiting mount Kilimanjaro with unhelpful, all or nothing thinking

What Made Depression Almost Keep Me From Summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro?

January 21, 2023 By Depression Is Not My Boss

You Never Pay More, Yet Clicking These Links And Making a Purchase Helps Fund My Blog

PureFormulas.com-Pure Healthy Goodness, Highest-Grade Natural Supplements! Fast, Free Shipping!
Mosaic 250x250
Blog Meets Brand
Your Page Title

Footer

Contact

Email:  my.concealed.depression@gmail.com

Privacy Policy

Recent

  • Is My Anxiety Because I Am Still Unpacking from Africa?
  • Am I Able to Be Happier, to Feel Joy?
  • What Made Depression Almost Keep Me From Summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro?
  • 3 Years and 9 Months After Admitting Depression, I Can Say Merry Christmas
  • What I Learned Having Skin Cancer Removed from My Face

Search

© Copyright 2020 · My Concealed Depression · All Rights Reserved · Designed by The Marketing Momma