My Concealed Depression

My thoughts on my lifetime of Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal ideation.

Time travel

I Wasn’t Planning for My Depression to Be a Lifelong Companion

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Photo by Mert Talay on Unsplash Yet it turns out that depression and I have a bond that will entwine us for the rest of my life. And even though right now, my depression is on vacation, I know it is still with me. While I am not feeling like I am “up against the wall,” I know my depression is still there. It is getting very good at tossing unhelpful thinking my way. … [Read more...] about I Wasn’t Planning for My Depression to Be a Lifelong Companion

What Makes Depression Create Stigma, Unlike a Broken Arm?

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Researching stigma as it relates to mental health, I came across Kevin Breel presenting a TED Talk, Confessions of a depressed comic. Paraphrasing Kevin, he said,†“Break a bone, and you get all kinds of sympathy, offers to help, and friends who want to sign your cast. Admit you have depression, and you hear crickets in the background as people … [Read more...] about What Makes Depression Create Stigma, Unlike a Broken Arm?

With Or Without Depression, It’s Never Always Rainbows and Unicorns

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I cannot believe depression had me thinking this. Having just gone through a period of four weeks with increasing signs of a relapse, I am relieved that it is over. Well, over for the moment. Not over as in I will never have to go through that again. Yet each time this happens, I want to think it will never happen again. Coming out of the abyss, I see a new world, full of … [Read more...] about With Or Without Depression, It’s Never Always Rainbows and Unicorns

The 10 Things I Just Cannot Do, Part II*

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*Update December 7, 2021 As I reread my list, I can see where I have made progress and where I still need to work. The reality is I will always need to work on at least one of the 10 unhelpful thinking styles. Living with depression means first acknowledging that I have it. And then quickly I say, “I have depression, depression does not have … [Read more...] about The 10 Things I Just Cannot Do, Part II*

Singing to Music As I Drive Gives Me Too Much Time to Think

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I imagine the artists would be flattered to hear I get lost in their music. And in and of itself, that is not a bad thing. But what I have found happening in the past few weeks is a song triggers a memory. The memory is often pleasant, but many times it’s painful. I try to ignore most of these thoughts by singing along. But the memory crowds in and … [Read more...] about Singing to Music As I Drive Gives Me Too Much Time to Think