Most days, I must explain to you why I am allowing myself some self-care time. For some reason, I don’t feel like I deserve to have “me time.” I grew up without learning how to look out for myself first. Now that may seem off-base to those closest to me. I have set goals, achieved results and always been the go-to person. And many of my projects were thought of and … [Read more...] about Why Am I Afraid to Be Me?
unhealthy thinking styles
Is It Working Yet? – Doing the Drugs Part IV
It has only been five days. And I just took day five’s medication about 30 minutes ago. I understand that it can be four weeks before my Wellbutrin XL, 150 mg. is doing its job as intended. And I am still taking a smaller portion of my Prozac (now 20mg) to help as I transition. So why am I expecting a miracle? Why would my experience with changing medications be … [Read more...] about Is It Working Yet? – Doing the Drugs Part IV
I’m Overcast This Morning With a 50% Chance of Showers
It is not a gloomy morning. And it is markedly cooler than yesterday, which is not a bad thing. There was enough rain last night that I only needed to water the three pots of petunias on the back-deck railing. Being the smallest pots, they require the most attention on hot days. As you know, we live with bears. This means I bring in the bird feeders every night, … [Read more...] about I’m Overcast This Morning With a 50% Chance of Showers
I’m a Little Nervous This Morning
Why? I’m still not sure what to say to my new Psychiatrist. And the appointment is less than five hours away. Yes, I have made some notes and collected documents. I have my Aetna Insurance card and my drivers license. In the bathroom, I hung a large cloth bag to collect all my current prescription medication, plus the supplements I am taking. Once again, I have all the … [Read more...] about I’m a Little Nervous This Morning
“Those Thoughts,” Are They My Suicidal Ideation?
I have been afraid to write about this subject. While people who have suicidal ideation will get it, the vast majority of people do not understand this or are afraid to talk about it. For 43+ years, I was afraid of getting anywhere near the subject. It turns out, I have a major depressive disorder, with suicidal ideation. My suicidal thoughts are not an everyday … [Read more...] about “Those Thoughts,” Are They My Suicidal Ideation?