The last year of this decade was overly complicated, frightening and dramatic. It started off in January of 2019 with waking up not being able to breath. It wasn’t that there was no air, it was as if someone had taken the life-giving oxygen out of the air that I was breathing in. I would need to get up and walk around for a bit to clear it out and then be able to go … [Read more...] about “I Know That’s Going to Leave a Mark”
wellness recovery action plan
It’s all piling up, I’ve got to get a grip
Here are the clues I’m not on my game. I don’t sleep well. I am back to the waking every hour or so. When I work late and close the building, I am going to bed about 1 AM. I wake at 3, then 4, then 5:30, 6:30, AM or so, and I keep trying to get some solid REM sleep before getting out of bed. It isn’t happening. I am not getting out of bed easily. My therapist suggested … [Read more...] about It’s all piling up, I’ve got to get a grip
Have I reached a Plateau? Is it up or down from here?
30 weeks into my life with depression, I have plateaued. I have no clue as to what is next. It could be I am consolidating what I have learned, assessing what is working and then steeling myself for the next leg up. Or, I am nearer to the abyss than I have been in months, and all I need is a triggering event to throw me head long into that rabbit hole of doom and … [Read more...] about Have I reached a Plateau? Is it up or down from here?
Are these really early warning signs?
The last few weeks are catching up with me. Between working 7 days in a row, then flying to Chicago, coming back and working another 7 in a row, I am slowing down just a little bit. For example, my legs felt it when we walked the dog yesterday evening. Our property has many hills and they usually do not bother me. Last night, it felt like someone was pulling on my legs, … [Read more...] about Are these really early warning signs?
Why Did I Think that? I Thought I Was Getting Better.
Why do I suddenly feel the need to explain myself? I am almost five months out from my hospital stay for depression. That is almost five months of living with depression, of saying the word depression out loud, and keeping depression out in the open where I can see it. As I wrote the sentence about being out of the hospital for almost five months, I suddenly felt I … [Read more...] about Why Did I Think that? I Thought I Was Getting Better.