After 52 blog posts, I’m having a “moment.” Until this morning, I have been overflowing with things to write about. When I pull out the laptop and sit down in a chair on the front porch, the words have just poured out of me. Well today, they are colliding. I can’t make sense of any of them. I can’t get past the first paragraph. I’ve been here before. I should know that this … [Read more...] about What do my days look like?
worry
Why can’t I let my guard down?
Getting in touch with my emotions is part of the healing process. While I am expressing more of them, I am still playing my cards, in certain situations, close to the vest. I don't let people see behind the mask. Let me give you an example. In the group meetings I am attending, I am completely transparent. I have held absolutely nothing back. It feels good to share … [Read more...] about Why can’t I let my guard down?
“Does it even matter?” Hey, that’s the depression talking.
I’m all over the board today. Thinking about, obsessing about, how I will spend my days has really set off a chain of thoughts in my mind. And some realizations. The Prozac must be working as intended. I have not had any suicidal thoughts in days. Not that I have ever acted upon them. Suicidal ideation is the clinical term they used when I was in the hospital. I am told … [Read more...] about “Does it even matter?” Hey, that’s the depression talking.
You won’t believe what it took to get back to the gym
You will be as surprised as I was. After weeks of saying I was going to get back to the gym, I went today. I had thought about going every day since I got home from the hospital. In fact, I even went once during the first week I was home. And then nothing. If this was a movie, it would be a dark black background with crickets chirping. The cricket sounds would get louder and … [Read more...] about You won’t believe what it took to get back to the gym
When Will I Ask These 12 Better Questions?
This is one of the key skills I must learn if I am to make sure depression is not my boss. Asking better questions, not just hearing the voice of depression will keep me from making impulsive, rash, and often destructive decisions. In the hospital, I was given a handout titled “How to Challenge Unhelpful Thinking Styles.” My thanks to the nurses at UVA 5 East for this … [Read more...] about When Will I Ask These 12 Better Questions?