• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • Mental Health Resources
    • Depression Resources
  • Blog
    • Coping
    • Medication
    • Self Care
    • Stress and Anxiety
    • Unhelpful thinking
      • Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
      • Fortune-Telling
      • Guilt and Shame
      • Time Travel
    • Sleep Issues
    • Depression
    • Covid19
    • Suicide & Self-Harm
    • Wellness Tools
      • SMART – Self Management And Recovery Training
      • WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan)
      • Change Triangle
  • Contact
  • SHOP

Turnaround
You are here: Home / Featured Home / Two strikes against me and the day is just getting started

Two strikes against me and the day is just getting started

November 18, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Depression and unhelpful thinking makes three strikes seem certian

On my calendar, the appointment was for 8:30 AM today.

My appointments have been every two weeks since the summer. I even scribbled it on the card from the last appointment the new date before leaving his office two weeks ago. So why is someone else in with my therapist, and I am waiting another couple of weeks to see him?

I didn’t do anything wrong.

I wrote down the day and time as he keyed it into the online scheduling system. That’s why I always bring my day/date planner. My goal is to always be early. When I show up on time, I feel like I am late. This cushion gives me comfort, gives me time to focus on the upcoming session, event, job, whatever.

With the building not opening until 8:30 AM, and my appointments starting at 8:30 AM, my therapist has been coming to the door and letting me in a few minutes early. In fact, he remarked once about how I am always early and that he likes that because he never has to wait for me.

This leaves me wondering why I didn’t push the issue.

It was not my fault. Maybe my therapist did not hit F8 to save the appointment, I do not know. But I do know that it was my time and I did not get to use it. Now the person waiting in the lobby after I rescheduled was someone who was clearly in distress. Having been there, I felt an understanding and empathy that made the decision OK.

Now I am not mind reading or inventing a scenario about this person.

 Anyone who encountered her would pick up on her concern, worry and angst. Knowing I was once up against a similar wall, with no visible way forward, I could vividly picture my own abyss, and the sheer terror it unleashed the morning I went to the emergency room and asked for help.

So, I am back home, working on something more day to day, our recycling.

Our local county was not making any money recycling glass, and #1-7 plastics. So, they have done away with that and now only take metal and aluminum cans, plus corrugated cardboard. Wanting to be responsible to the environment and future generations, I called a local trash hauler who does recycling.

Just for the record, we live in the country.

Every resident decides what they do with their waste. You can pay a service, take it to the landfill yourself, which is what I have been doing for 3 ½ years, or even burn it in a barrel on your property. So individual companies haul trash.

These companies must make a profit.

Picking up recycling is not something many country folk get behind, it seems. After setting up trash pickup, which is the prerequisite for getting them to take the recycling, the woman said she would need to check on the recycling schedule, to confirm that they picked up in our area.

Ten minutes later, I got strike two for the day.

There isn’t a route for recycling in our area. There is not enough interest in it. So, I cancelled the new trash service, and things returned to the way they were. I take the trash to the landfill, and take what recycling they still process, too. I have built a small Mount Trashmore of recycling that no one is interested in.

My plastic, outside trash can “shed” is almost full.

I am going to have to decide. In a neighboring county, I can take #1 and #2 plastic, but not the more prolific #3-#7 that our household seems to generate the most. Plus, to do that I must plan a special trip “into town.”

For 20 years in NJ, we recycled everything. And, moving to Virginia, we had been able to do the same, until now. It looks like I am going to be facing a decision. I cannot keep piling up the plastic no one wants but am I reluctant to add it to the trash, and I do not see that burning it would be good for the environment. I will keep you posted about this.

This was the second strike in less than an hour.

Now these strikes, according to legend, come in threes. And I am sitting on the front porch, watching the birds at the feeder, writing this out. In the back of my mind, I am wondering what the third strike will be?

But does there really need to be a third strike?

I have steeled myself to the possibility but am also doing what I can to just live the day as it comes. It is so easy to catastrophize situations, at least for me. This sends me into a tailspin without ever knowing the full story. And I did this early this morning.

When I picked up my phone to head to my appointment, I saw an email heading.

Automatically, without thinking why, I felt blame, like I had done something I shouldn’t have. And then, to compound the feeling, I did not check the actual email to see what it said.

I ASSUMED IT WAS BAD.

And you know the saying about assuming… (if not, Google it). When I finally got back from the non-therapy appointment, I read the email that had scared me earlier. It was saying thank you. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t saying that I had done something bad, it was saying thank you for doing what I had done!

Unhelpful thinking and automatic thoughts are still actively working on me.

Now I did catch this by opening the email and getting the actual story within an hour or so of feeling like I had screwed up. Before learning these tools, I might have carried that burden, that inability to discover the truth, around most of the day, before addressing it.

My recovery is often in baby steps.

To conclude the three strikes, I am adding the email issue to make three. There is no need to drag this along for the day, waiting for another shoe to fall. I got my three strikes, I have addressed my three strikes, and I am on to living the rest of the day in the moment.

What are you waiting for today?

Filed Under: Featured Home, Self Care, SMART - Self Management And Recovery Training, Unhelpful thinking Tagged With: appointments, automatic thoughts, concealed depression, recycling, third strike, trash, unhealthy thinking styles, Unhelpful thinking, unhelpful thinking styles

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder. As I meet others with mental illness, they often tell me they feel alone.

With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to let others know you are not alone. Others are going through the same things.

And I write to share what I am learning so you and I can lead a balanced life.

https://myconcealeddepression.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/my-concealed-depression-intro.mp4
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest

More to See

The startling truth about coping statements for anxiety and depression

The Startling Truth About Coping Statements For Anxiety and Depression

October 28, 2020 By Depression Is Not My Boss

My 101 Coping Strategies for Anxiety

My 101 Best Coping Statements For Anxiety and Depression

October 18, 2020 By Depression Is Not My Boss

I write to understand my depression and thereby lead a balanced life.

Is Being Too Busy to Write a Good Thing?

September 2, 2023 By Depression Is Not My Boss

Even as I have MDD or concealed depression, I am wondering what makes me the happiest

What Would Make Me the Happiest?

August 14, 2023 By Depression Is Not My Boss

Are You Getting Enough Sleep?

You Never Pay More, Yet Clicking These Links And Making a Purchase Helps Fund My Blog

PureFormulas.com-Pure Healthy Goodness, Highest-Grade Natural Supplements! Fast, Free Shipping!
Mosaic 250x250
Blog Meets Brand
Best Self Improvement & Personal Development Blogs - OnToplist.com
RSS Search

Blog posts that go back to my 5 East time over 4 years ago

  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019

Footer

Contact

Email:  my.concealed.depression@gmail.com

Privacy Policy

Recent

  • September marks #SuicidePreventionMonth
  • Is Being Too Busy to Write a Good Thing?
  • What Would Make Me the Happiest?
  • I’m Still Pushing That Rock Up the Same Hill
  • My Depression Has Me Falling in and Out of Love

Search

Products

  • The Six Second Cover Letter™ $19.99
  • 10 Page Gratitude Coloring Pages $14.99
  • 5 gratitude coloring pages from my concealed depression to help reduce anxiety and depression Five - Gratitude Coloring Pages $9.99
  • The One Secret That Lands Your Dream Job[Course]
  • Write This Down, You'll Need It Later[Amazon]

© Copyright 2020 · My Concealed Depression · All Rights Reserved · Designed by The Marketing Momma