• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • Mental Health Resources
    • Depression Resources
  • Blog
    • Coping
    • Medication
    • Self Care
    • Stress and Anxiety
    • Unhelpful thinking
      • Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
      • Fortune-Telling
      • Guilt and Shame
      • Time Travel
    • Sleep Issues
    • Depression
    • Covid19
    • Suicide & Self-Harm
    • Wellness Tools
      • SMART – Self Management And Recovery Training
      • WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan)
      • Change Triangle
  • Contact
  • SHOP

Turnaround
You are here: Home / Featured Home / 10 things I just cannot do

10 things I just cannot do

August 17, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Let me say right up front that these are things I am working on.

Things I would like to do, things that I see value in, but depression does not.

This is creating conflict in my head and heart about my need to address these things.

My List

Relax – Just sitting in the morning on the front porch, with my first cup of coffee was something I looked forward to. Now I cannot just sit. I feel that I must be writing on my laptop or checking my email.

Let go – Some ideas I have carried around for quite a while. I just can’t seem to get them out of my head. Depression keeps shooting me text messages and emails reminding me not to forget things. Old ideas, old, unproductive, unhelpful and unhealthy habits are still being dragged along behind me. It’s time to cut the cord and move on.

Be more in the moment – While I have gotten better at this, being present in the moment is very hard. I know I do not spend enough time working on this. Whatever else is going on at that moment is always more important than what I should be focusing on in that same moment. It is easier to live in the past or the future than in the present moment.

Ask better questions consistently – I am so proud of the progress I have made in this area, and so frustrated that I cannot be consistent. My successes end up being minimized as depression gets involved, and the fact that I am not doing this in every situation becomes a monumental big deal which depression keeps pointing out.

Give myself a break – I am beginning to feel like I am always on again. This idea that I must be ‘evergreen’ and always available is tiring me out. It is probably in my list of triggers to watch for in my WRAP plan.

Clean the office – I still vacuum my office once a week. While I have the vacuum out, I do the bedroom and the two guest rooms that are carpeted. But cleaning and organizing my desk, projects and incoming mail are slipping. I don’t feel in control of these things right now. With all the best intentions to address it over the past few weeks, my desk is still a mess.

Stop mind reading – Doing this, depression tells me, is like reading the “Monarch Notes” version of a book. You get the idea of the book, without having to actually read the book. I decide I know what a person is thinking, then act on that assumption, without ever speaking to the person. This has been one of depressions favorite ideas to show me who is really in charge.

Stop running – As soon as I wasn’t up against the wall with depression, I was off and trying to run again. Running to a non-profit position, a board of directors’ position, installing a swimming pool. Anything to keep me from having free time to face myself and depression.

Running saved my life in my 20’s. Real, actual, physical exercise pushed depression into the background and created an almost 15 year stretch of positive energy. But now I am using running, as in running away, to avoid facing situations that involve my feelings.

Be in touch with my feelings – That is a tough one for me. I have said many times, I can give you an accurate report about a situation, just don’t ask me how I feel about it. I know this is one of the biggest challenges I face, and one depression has spent so much time showing me ways NOT to be in touch.

I spend a lot of time working on recognizing unhelpful thinking styles. These are strategies I use to avoid the issue, or at least avoid the feeling associated with the issue.

Recognize and believe in the value of simple conversation – I’m always in a rush. Stopping and smelling the roses, spending a few minutes just chatting, with no agenda, no specific goal, is foreign to me. I am results oriented. How can I or why would I just talk? Why wouldn’t there be a purpose, and objective, an outcome to achieve? This is my mind set as I approach conversations.

Now the very short version of simple conversation I can do. “Hi, how are you?” “Is your child feeling better?”  These are easy. But if it turns into a one to five minute conversation, I get edgy, I lose focus, and I feel guilty that I am not doing something “productive.” I really want to fix this.

It has only been four months since I turned and faced my depression.

And it took me 43 years to do that. I must say that despite having things I cannot do YET, there are success stories, too. And this is what keeps me going. I have called out depression and am keeping it where I can see it. I am on to its sneaky ways and its underhanded style of getting me into its secretive world.

I’m finally facing it and it feels good.

So, I will continue to work on this list. I am posting a copy on my bulletin board next to my desk and will pick one area to focus on each day. I’ll start with what could be an easy one and I will clean and organize my desk. This has helped me feel better in the past.  Then I will tackle some of the bigger issues.

What things would you like to do but are not doing?

Your comments are appreciated as I continue my journey.

Filed Under: Featured Home, Unhelpful thinking, WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) Tagged With: depression, life, mental health, unhealthy thinking styles, Unhelpful thinking, unhelpful thinking styles, wellness recovery action plan, worries, worry, WRAP

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder. As I meet others with mental illness, they often tell me they feel alone.

With 40+ years of living with concealed depression, I write my blog to let others know you are not alone. Others are going through the same things.

And I write to share what I am learning so you and I can lead a balanced life.

https://myconcealeddepression.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/my-concealed-depression-intro.mp4
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest

More to See

The startling truth about coping statements for anxiety and depression

The Startling Truth About Coping Statements For Anxiety and Depression

October 28, 2020 By Depression Is Not My Boss

My 101 Coping Strategies for Anxiety

My 101 Best Coping Statements For Anxiety and Depression

October 18, 2020 By Depression Is Not My Boss

I write to understand my depression and thereby lead a balanced life.

Is Being Too Busy to Write a Good Thing?

September 2, 2023 By Depression Is Not My Boss

Even as I have MDD or concealed depression, I am wondering what makes me the happiest

What Would Make Me the Happiest?

August 14, 2023 By Depression Is Not My Boss

Are You Getting Enough Sleep?

You Never Pay More, Yet Clicking These Links And Making a Purchase Helps Fund My Blog

PureFormulas.com-Pure Healthy Goodness, Highest-Grade Natural Supplements! Fast, Free Shipping!
Mosaic 250x250
Blog Meets Brand
Best Self Improvement & Personal Development Blogs - OnToplist.com
RSS Search

Blog posts that go back to my 5 East time over 4 years ago

  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019

Footer

Contact

Email:  my.concealed.depression@gmail.com

Privacy Policy

Recent

  • September marks #SuicidePreventionMonth
  • Is Being Too Busy to Write a Good Thing?
  • What Would Make Me the Happiest?
  • I’m Still Pushing That Rock Up the Same Hill
  • My Depression Has Me Falling in and Out of Love

Search

Products

  • The Six Second Cover Letter™ $19.99
  • 10 Page Gratitude Coloring Pages $14.99
  • 5 gratitude coloring pages from my concealed depression to help reduce anxiety and depression Five - Gratitude Coloring Pages $9.99
  • The One Secret That Lands Your Dream Job[Course]
  • Write This Down, You'll Need It Later[Amazon]

© Copyright 2020 · My Concealed Depression · All Rights Reserved · Designed by The Marketing Momma